Okay, I started counting calories last Thursday, August 23. I am so excited to be here at SparkPeople again. But I opened my SP account in 2008. I remember at that time I was very excited too. For about . . . . 2 weeks. And then when I lost 3 pounds or something, I cried, quit and moved on.
I have done that another time since then too. It's the honeymoon phase. Where you start out and you're all gung ho and there are visions of skinny clothes and being able to go to a party without struggling with your weight.
Well, here I am again. A week tomorrow. I have done great. No cheating. I feel great. A little hungry at times, but I'm in the zone. And I've made a couple of friends on SP and the encouragement is so nice and I appreciate it so much because I don't think I could encouragement myself enough to keep on keepin' on.
So, here is what I am telling myself at this moment. 'Samantha, be committed to you. Make a committment to keep trying.'
Now, even as I type that I have to admit I shudder a little bit. I'm scared. I'm scared that this time next week I'll be crying and I'll want to quit, and I'll be depressed that I will never be able to go to the beach without everybody starring at me. Or that when I go dancing nobody wants to dance with me. Or that I'll never have the skinny wardrobe of cute clothes that I want. Ugh ugh ugh.
So - here's the deal. I'm scared. So what. DO IT AFRAID!!! I am doing this afraid. I can't change the fear. But I can face it. And I am committing myself to face the fear. Stare at it in the face and say 'NO. NOT THIS TIME. I AM WORTH SUCCEEDING! I AM WORTH THE BIKINI! I AM WORTH BEING ALL THAT I WANT TO BE.'
So, that is how I feel at this moment. I am on the honeymoon phase where I'm excited, and when the pending fear comes at me I am going to stare it down and I will be fearce about it!
I am at this moment doing the white man's overbite and dancing where I sit.
Oh yeah - oh yeah - I'm rockin' it - oh yeah . . . .. . . .