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One Year Ago Today

Monday, August 27, 2012

It was one year ago that my Dad went to Heaven. I still remember his last day on earth as if it were yesterday; especially the last few hours. It was like time stood still, and yet went by too fast at the same time. Even though I knew he was suffering and it was finally over for him, I just wanted to grab his hand and beg him to come back to us.

It's been a tough year, and right now it doesn't feel like it's any easier just because it's been a whole year. Up until the week he got sick, I honestly thought he would outlive me. I was truly convinced that with my cancer, that I would be going first. I was not prepared to lose my Dad, but in truth, no one is prepared to lose a parent, know matter how old they are or what the circumstances are. But I don't understand how Dad could get so ill so suddenly, and go downhill so fast, and here I am, with a cancer that has been eating away at my bones for years, and I'm still here. I have been prepared to go whenever the Good Lord chooses to take me, I was just not expecting my Dad to go first.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my mom 6 years ago this coming October 14th and its still hurting. My mom was overweight, high blood pressure, diabetes, and she had strokes. But I still have the good memories of her. That is what you need to do is to remember the good times.
    2095 days ago
    It has been so many years since losing my parents but feel that they have been watching out for me from above. May you have a day of remembrance without sadness soon. emoticon
    2095 days ago
  • JUDITH316
    I'm so sorry for your loss, it is never easy losing a Parent, my own beloved Mom passed into the presence of the Lord back in 2001, I still remember her last day and few hours as if it were yesterday, one thing that has helped me is all the precious memories and knowing that my Mom is not suffering and is safe with Jesus, may you find the same comfort I have felt these past few years, my prayers are with you, sending you big HUGS...Here is a verse that has ministered to me over the years, my prayer is it will do the same for you as it did for me...

    Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. Psalm 116:15
    2095 days ago
    Sending you hugs on this difficult day!
    2095 days ago
    I'm sorry for your loss. We don't, and never will know why
    things or events happen as they do. I am thinking of you. emoticon
    2096 days ago
    I am not sure it gets less painful as time passes. It has been over forty years for me since my Dad died on my 21st birthday. I did not celebrate my birthday for a very long time Shari. It does get more bearable and you can remember the love he gave you, how he wants you to be strong. Sending you very loving hugs. Pat
    2096 days ago
    So sorry for your loss, but how terrible it would have been for him if you had gone first. I have noticed with every loss the whole world seems to lose some of its color, but it is still a beautiful place, even if less vibrant.
    2096 days ago
    2096 days ago
  • KERRYG155
    I'm sorry. I know I'm not prepared for dealing with that and I'm really sorry you have had to.
    2096 days ago
  • JANEDOE12345
    This is one of the most eloquent statements about grief that I have ever read. My sympathy to you on this sad anniversary.
    2096 days ago
    I know it hard to lose anyone close to You! And I do not care what they say time does not always make it better! Remember the Good Times!!! ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
    2096 days ago
    Dear Shari,

    I understand what you are saying - something like this just does not make sense. I think a lot of that is because unexpected events leave us in shock, and that can take some time to wear off - and most likely be re-triggered at times such as this.

    It reminds me of Mum's cousin last year, suddenly so ill he had was put into an induced coma, and died 10 days later aged 54, of leukaemia - and he showed no symptoms at all prior to the last day he was conscious, before being rushed to hospital. Go figure, eh?

    I guess God has his master plan, and we don't know why or when he will call us back to him. I feel for your is still a difficult thing to face, and to come to terms with even though a year has passed. In some ways I think the first year is the worst, especially when important dates related to that particular person come around. And those times can still make it hard to get one's head around the loss, as it seems to be the case for you now.

    While nothing I can say will help make it any easier for you, please know I am thinking of you, and sending warm thoughts and heartfelt prayers.

    Big hugs to you, Nattacia

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    2096 days ago
    Ahh, Shari...when I saw the title of your blog, I knew it was about your dad's passing. I know it's been a very difficult, rough year for you since then and can only send you lots of emoticon . I also know how terrible it is to lose a parent, though I can attest that with time, some of that pain has a wonderful, soothing way of turning into fond memories, and even having a sense of how my parents would think or feel about different situations :) I hope that'll happen for you, too.

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    2096 days ago
  • TNLADY1960
    I know what your going thru we lost my dad July of 2007 and it was unexpected, my mom just found him and it was too late to do anything for him. I can tell you each year gets a little easier but there will still be days or nights that you will think of him and cry like a baby but I think that is good for us. It is also a reminder to live each day to its fullest even with our own health problems. I was blessed to have won my battle with cancer and I pray that is God's will for you too. emoticon
    2096 days ago
    Even though he's gone, he's always in your heart.
    2096 days ago
  • HHOLT6
    Difficult blog to read and to write. I lost my step mom 2 years ago in July. It is shocking how much I miss her. It helps to remember the terrific life she led and that she didn't suffer for long.
    I hope that you are feeling better and healthy.
    2096 days ago
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