internal struggle

Monday, August 27, 2012

I have been going through such an internal struggle lately. I first hurt my shoulder and then i slipped and hurt my left hip really bad. Then just the other day i was sitting on the toilet (i know TMI) and i moved my right leg just a bit and pulled something in the side of my leg to the back of my leg. SERIOUSLY! and let me tell you it's painful and achy. I just don't know what to do anymore with exercise. I don't want to give up but why am i getting hurt so much. When i'm not even exercising. It's crazy. I don't know what to do or which direction to go in. To i stay a couch potato, do i just try 5 mins a day when i was going 20 mins. My legs already have issues from the blood clot years ago the get worn out easy. Is that why i'm getting hurt?

i'm so tired of the weight, i'm tired of hiding behind it. I've spent many years using it as comfort so i didn't have to be me and being what everyone else wanted me to be. Guess what if you don't accept me for me and my beliefs, then don't expect me to accept you for yours. i'm not saying you have to believe in my beliefs, just accept them and not try and change me. Fear tactics and guilt trips are over too. I don't need anything to hide behind. Maybe in a way my body is just telling me to slow down as i show the world who i am. maybe it's playing catch up too. who knows.

Another thing the beginning of the year i started taking chlorella (it's a supplement, like a green algae) it was high in iodine and i think it threw my thyroid for a loop, that's when i started having issues with my thyroid again. After several years of staying steady. I had to back off my meds some and then i gained more weight and the thyroid went hypo for me. I was also having heart flutters. Doctors checked it all out and the ticker is fine. So i'm now back at the dose i was at, but it will take a bit for my thyroid to come back up to where it needs to be. luckily i haven't had any panic attacks lately. But I sure have been feeling depressed and stressed with my weight/fitness progress and finding the motivation cause well i'm just plum tired.

so that's my poor poor pitiful me moment for the day. I needed to get this off my chest. now that it's off hopefully i can stop dwelling on it. well at least till my right leg has healed a little.

now to figure out an all new game plan.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Here's to a new game plan - sending energy your way!
    2607 days ago
    Sorry you are having all these issues, hang in there. Hope you feel better soon. emoticon
    2608 days ago
  • ANYVAR54
    Take care, and rest.
    Don't give up.
    I injured myself a bit over a week ago by falling down several stairs.
    I let it mess me up. Don't let your injury get you excessively down.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2609 days ago
    Keep your balloons away from people who want to bust them!
    This is your personal journey. You create it. I know you will find your way.
    Take care!
    2609 days ago
    WOW! You sound like me! LOL! I had a blood clot in my leg about 12 years ago. Now whenever I have a problem with a leg - it's always that one!

    Just do what you can and eventually it will get a little better.

    2609 days ago

    I'm very sorry to hear that you are having these struggles. But, I am glad that you chose to blog about it. Sometimes, the act of putting our thoughts onto paper (so to speak) helps us to refocus and consider where we are and how to move forward.

    It's good you've seen your doctor. I hope you told her/him about the supplements as these really are as important as them knowing about prescriptions.

    Regarding exercise: YES, if 5 minutes at a time is all you can do, then make sure you do those 5 minutes each and every day. Perhaps you can do that several times a day even. You have to be the judge, of course, as to how much your body can take right now. Have you checked out Spark's limited mobility exercises?

    While you are limited on exercise, it's even more important to watch your nutrition. It can be easy to eat more when feeling depressed so you should be aware this may be a struggle. But, I know you can succeed! When that urge to eat strikes, read a couple SP motivational quotes and the descriptions behind them, do one of your 5 minute burst of exercise, write another blog, visit the Spark Page of a friend, review your vision collage for inspiration, find a new healthy recipe for something in that fabulous CSA basket.

    Wishing I could help you more. Take care, my friend, and you will get through this!

    emoticon emoticon
    2609 days ago
    2609 days ago

    Remember weight loss is 80% what you eat - there are people out there who have lost a lot of weight without exercising. I'm not suggesting you stop exercising because we both know it releases those wonderful endorphins and keeps us flexible and strong, which does protect us from injury and keep us young. I'm just suggesting that taking time to heal doesn't have to set you back. Do gentle stuff - couch potato is not allowed!!!

    You can do this Micki - one day at a time!
    2609 days ago
    There are a lot of exercises you can do.

    If you have access to a pool - these are wonderful they put less strain on the body but still allow you to move. With the water there is automatic resistance.

    You can do stretches from a chair instead of standing - Be careful of your injured arm/shoulder.

    Check with you Dr - they should be able to give you some wonderful ideas as well.
    2609 days ago
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