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Weighing In and Moving On

Monday, August 27, 2012

Normal Monday weigh-in today, but instead of just the bare numbers, I'm weighing in on my plans.

First of all, trying to focus on other goals somehow shifts my food and fitness goals all out of whack.

I did very well on my baby steps plan to conquer my roadblocks:
1. I worked on my thesis
2. I finished the backtaxes and just need DH's signature to mail them off.
3. I have nearly completed my application for the adjunct faculty position, just waiting for my work history to arrive in the mail from the social security admin and make photocopies.
4. I continued to stick to my housekeeping schedule.

I have not gone to the gym or running for an entire week.
I have not drank enough water in the past five days.
My food related willpower has gone totally AWOL. Inhibitions blockers have disappeared. We have eaten out at least four times this last week. I've been shoveling carbs like they've been going out of style. DH and I went out one night and split a cheese platter and a bottle of wine, and ended up having GnTs before we finally called it a night.

Worst of all, the two pounds it took me FOUR BLEEDING WEEKS to lose are back. This would be so, so, very discouraging if I didn't look at the bigger picture. If I don't look at the bigger picture, the whoa-is-me izadora will return. The one who says "Why bother? You know that its going to take you MONTHS to lose just ten pounds, let alone the 30 you need to drop to reach a healthy weight. So just give up. You'll be happier anyway."

Except I won't. I am not happy with who I am now or where I am now. I am not happy with the me who watches tv instead of working out or on my projects. I am not happy with the me who justifies going off-budget and over-kcal limits four days in a row just because I don't "feel" like cooking. I am not happy with the me who hides in her house on a sunny day because I don't feel that I deserve to go out and have fun . . . because I haven't done what I should.

So on to step seven on the Roadblock Mental Blessing Strategy: Pick up where you left off (Forgiveness.) It has been a downward spiral for the last five days. But the buck stops here. I regret my actions, but I forgive myself for them. Before I pick up and continue on, what have I learned?

1. When my diet consists mainly of carbs, I wake up very hungry the next day . . . despite having consumed nearly 3,000 calories the day before.
2. Not drinking my water makes me tired and lethargic.
3. Exercising regularly has a huge effect on my mood: I am more positive, upbeat, motivated and BRAVE.
4. A chain of positive actions builds momentum. I like the feel of that momentum. I can begin to fully picture the new me.
5. Going off the reservation seriously messes with DH. He (sometimes unfortunately) follows my lead when it comes to lifestyle things like eating, exercise and housework. Sure, he loves going out for dinner, but then my normally happy-go-lucky spouse starts to wig out about spending too much money, the mortgage, the economy and can't sleep. (Like last night).
6. I am setting a rather poor example for my sister, who is spending the summer with us. She may be an adult (21) but I am still her big sis and a role model for her. Shouldn't she be seeing me work on my thesis and work out rather than snack on popcorn and watch tv all weekend?
7. The TV has got to go. It sucks the life out of me. NOTHING ON TV is as IMPORTANT as FINISHING MY THESIS AND REACHING MY GOALS. My brain has atrophied in the last few years and I really think it is due to way to much tv watching. It started as a way to unwind after a stressful day at work and to "spend time" with DH (it really annoyed him at first if I read while he was watching tv, he thought I was ignoring him) but has now become a crutch which is making my attention span shorter, ruining my short-term memory and discouraging me from seeking out more difficult or challenging forms of entertainment . . . like reading anything other than historical romance and yahoo news, or working on my hobbies.

Having thought upon these reflections, and having forgiven myself for my setbacks, it is time to move forward on the road to happiness, on our way to the Continent of Contentment. My goals for the next week are:

1. Do not watch ANY tv while alone in the house and limit all tv watching to 1-2 hours of specifically selected shows or movies, preferably in FRENCH.
2. Work out at least 30 minutes per day and complete week 5 of my 5k training plan.
3. No more than 1 unit of alcohol per day and no more than 2 in a seven day period.
4. Stay below 120 carbs or 90 net carbs per day.
5. Drink 4 water bottles of water or iced green or black tea per day. (3 litres)
6. Mail in Backtaxes
7. Turn in adjunct professor applications
8. Finish and turn in mid-term report on my research
9. Stick to cleaning flight plan.
10. Get up at or before 7am and be in bed by or before 10:30pm.

Time to move onwards, upwards and forwardssssss

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    2399 days ago
    That's a very ambitious plan! Congrats on your tenacity and not giving up on yourself but do give yourself some slack.
    2399 days ago
    Is there a way you can combine your TV time with your workout time? Even if you don't have any equipment, you can do circuit training with body weight exercises... IF you wouldn't feel silly about doing your strength training in the living room in front of others.

    And just remember that nobody expects you to do it all! It's okay to take breaks or prioritize yourself over the chores once in a while. It sounds like you have a very full, very stressful plate. I don't see anything wrong with one night of healthy take-out, or asking your DH to do the cooking one or two nights per week. Put yourself first when you can!
    2399 days ago
    Be kind to yourself! You are undergoing a major lifestyle change, there are going to be setbacks. You are not giving up, and that's the important thing. Also, vacations are especially hard for this, because you can't get into a routine: people visit, there are all kinds of social gatherings, it's too hot to cook, too hot to move... You're doing great, just remember: BABY STEPS! If you manage to compelte just a few of the tasks you've set for yourself this week, it will be a success. emoticon
    2399 days ago
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