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Ch- ch- ch- changes......

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Ok, so I got my hair chopped. I mean CHOPPED. compared to my pic here with long hair, holy frigginoly!!. I have pics on my phone, but can't get it to send to e via email or IM. Grrrr.... But, I LOVE it!! I am so low maintenance to begin with, it's funny. But I came home & showed my sweetie my new do & I said "want to see when I get fancy?" & she said yes.. i tucked my hair behind my ears! emoticon emoticon I am way too easily amused.
Made a quick dinner last night. Problem is, even though the kitchen was 80 degrees (don't ask.), I had to SIT DOWN to stir the food in the pan. I have never had to do this before. For me, personally....it's almost like there are no words, you know??? emoticon The moment triggered me, sent a jolt through me like I've never had. Sure, I've always had the 'I'll start tomorrow', 'Mon is a new start to a new me.' 'I'll have this LAST pint of Ben & Jerrys tonight & that way there will be no temptation tomorrow.', etc.... the list goes on forever. Funny how it's always SO easy to think of those things, which are all unhealthy, degrading, & just plain mean to ourselves, yet when it comes down to things like 'I'm walking out the door NOW' (for even a quick walk around the block), or 'hey, there's a commercial on, I'll walk around the apartment', or even "I'll take the stairs to the 2nd floor.'.... NOTHING????
How can I treat myself like this?!?!?!? No one in my real life, or anyone on here would EVER say or do these things to me, let alone even think about it. It's a vicious cycle. AND IT BITES.

Well, you know what, vicious cycle????? You can BITE ME... I deserve better, and that's why I've started walking again. Sure, it's with my Wii (WIO), but it's MOVING. No, there's no way i can walk around town the way I was before, but I'll get there, I just need some time & strength. I have time & I have strength. But I know now, it's SO more than physical strength. It's mental, emotional, & psychological. Esp for me. Yea, I need the physical stuff, too, but that will coe along, as long as I have the others. I CAN make this a STRONG cycle. I have always beat up on myself... lifes' way too short. I'm done. No, I'm not putting the rest of my life on hold, but now that I have internet again, I can be here on SP again (missed you all!!!) I'm going to pay attention to ME. Taking care of ME... cause noone else will. And as cliche as it sounds, something that was pounded into our heads in nursing school... if you don't take care of you, how can you possibly take care of others????
'Nuff said... GAME ON.. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I know what you mean by beating yourself up.
    DOn't worry you had a bad day, it will get a lot better!
    I believe that you can make it to the goal that you want.
    You just got to be patient with yourself. And love yourself no matter what.
    Hope that you have a great day today! Holly emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2124 days ago
  • FRANCO1230
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    2125 days ago
    So glad to hear that you had an "ah-ha" moment. You might not be able to do the physical activity that you used to do, but if you start off slow and keep pushing, you'll eventually get back there!

    10k Leader
    2126 days ago

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    2126 days ago
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    To the Vicious Cycle!


    2127 days ago
    2127 days ago
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