Special is Special when shared with others!
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Yesterday I read a Sparker's daily blog (you might have read it too). Then this morning while working on my 6th day of sparkcoach I was asked to visualize a certain situation.
Well, the sparker's blog talked about advice on getting on when set back, I especially took in and thought about the one about jealously.
Then this morning I did my sparkcoach Daily Visualization, which was as follows:
Imagine reaching your goal weight and seeing an old friend for the first time since you began your journey. Picture them congratulating you on your transformation. If you struggle making healthy choices today, think about how good it would feel to receive such a positive reaction for your healthy efforts.
Well, this reminded my of a "so called" friend I had and still remember her actions and look on her face. We were both at a child's b-day party for our daughters, mind you she was my friend and knew what I was going through too and that I was overweight. At this party parents were invited to have pizza and ice-cream too. Except for my friend all parents had a slice of pizza. She admitted she ate lunch earlier. Then came the ice-cream all parents except for both my friend and I decline. I admitted I decline only because I knew my daughter would never finish the slice of ice-cream cake and would finish it for her. (I thought better then a whole piece). Well, while the two of us were talking parents were starting to take their children left over (about half) and start eating their child leftovers. Well, I did the same. My friend looked at me (remember I was overweight and she was not). She looked at me (up and down) with discuss and made a rude remark. I was so devastated. However, life goes on. I eventually started hanging around my friend less and less. This was not the first time she acted this way and was not the last. But to be fair it was not always about my weight or even about me. But seriously who needs to hang around people who just think their ways/stuff is always better than everyone else's? I am, was and always will be a person who enjoys seeing the good if not the best in others. We were opposites and not in a good way. She was thin, I was overweight, she is judgmental & I know all people are more than 2D.
Now about two years later and 35lbs lighter and a bit more firm:
My old friend and I run into each other at our daughter's campsite. She sees me and gives me a big hello, of course I am cordial back. (everyone can change if they choose too). We talk for a few moments. I choose to cut it short & head out (not missing my cardio class for this convo, a special old friend would be worth it but not this one). You may have guessed it...she did not mention my weight loss (yet ask me if I was working yet). Oh well, such is life.
A few weeks later a mutual friend asked me to come over and give my advice on design and decorating her new dinner room and living room. I really wanted to work out but before I could say anything she said her and her husband like my ideas and how much help I was with last reno. OF COURSE I WILL BE THERE DEAR FRIEND. So, there I was giving my opinion and her DH comes home. They both asking me my opinion. As I was talking her DH say to me "Anne, you are wasting away! Did you lose more weight?" Instead of accepting the compliment, I say "No I gained 4lbs on vacation in June." Well, I guess this got my friend recalling the day she spoke with our "mutual friend". She than say "Oh Anne, I saw blah blah last week and she said she saw you at the camp. She asked "What is up with Anne? She lost so much weight!" So, she did notice but would not say a thing. In fact the first chance she does mention my weight loss make it sound like I may be sick or something. Jealously is a terrible thing to be...she will always be unhappy.
Remember: those who make you feel less about yourself are usually feeling less about themselves.
There are people who will try to make you feel like you should not bother or that you could never do something worth it like losing weight to be healthy. It could be they are jealous...They NEED to be the better one, the attractive one the only thin one. Too bad for them. I truly feel for them. Because in my world there is plenty of room for all kinds of people and I don't have to be the only one either.
Special is Special only when shared with others!
To all my special spark friends, buddies and family members...thank you for being Special and just being YOU!
And thanks SP for making my visualization today make sense of what I am going through today and yesterday.
Sorry for the long blog but just had to get it off my mind.