A little over a week ago I was driving to the gym and I finally got to hear the new single from P!nk, Blow Me (One Last Kiss) that I had worked on and sang backup for on the radio for the very first time. It's always special when you hear a song you've helped create playing on the radio. But this time it was different for me in many ways. A song's meaning is never just cut and dry especially to those who help create it. The song will have a general meaning that the public will identify with but to the musicians like myself a song always has many more than just one meaning. It was during the joy of hearing this song on the radio I began to really think about this and how it really began to relate to how each one of us has different meanings and reasons why we joined Sparkpeople and why we stay members, as well as why it works for us.
It was when I was actually at the gym that day that I again got to hear this song, this time played throughout the gym...and I really can't explain the rush I experienced. I think in the middle of seeing how everyone else reacted to the beat and changed their body language and movements to go with the song I realized the true meaning this song had for me personally. I'm using this song and it's meaning in this blog because it truly has become my personal reason to "Spark".
I can't lie I had to sing along with the song at the gym which made it even more of an amazing experience, I had been on stages in front of thousands of crowds before, but to just really start belting out a song in the gym can really let your inner performer out...LOL. Now everyone who knows me as a regular at the gym is used to me singing while I do my cardio...it's just part of my training for my upcoming spot on P!nk's tour...but usually sing to whatever I'm listening to on my ipod and not to what is playing throughout every part of the gym, so needless to say people were definitely noticing and I was really ok with it, if anything I started running harder on the treadmill.
It was at this moment as I sang the lyrics I realized this song did not mean to me what it meant to people who had heard it. It wasn't a breakup song to me at all. Not in any way in the least. This was a song about me....me telling myself I've had enough of this....I was telling the part of "me" that had been holding me back for so long goodbye for good. I was telling that part of "me" to basically kiss off and blow me one last kiss. LOL I wasn't going to hold on to that part that didn't want to change anymore, There was more of the "new and improved" me to push that "old" me out of the picture for good. I was telling that "old" part she had lost the battle finally for good. I was declaring that I had truly had enough of being so unhappy and that life is too short to be unhappy. So I'm not anymore. Granted it took way longer for the 3 min song for me to have this life changing experience, in fact it took many years, But it did TAKE.
So there it is..my personal reason to Spark..I chose to live for me and be the healthy, happy person I want to be. It's become way more than getting in shape for work or losing weight. And as the song says "I will do what I please, anything that I want, I will breathe, I will breathe, I won't worry at all" because I've stopped trying to be something else and I've become the true "me" and that feels way better than trying to be something else. Better enough to teach me that I will reach my goals, on my terms, my way, with my voice.
I spark because I'm amazing, more confident everyday, and one awesome person with a wonderful heart and no one can ever change that. I deserve the best for me, and that's why I spark.
So now there's only one thing left for me to ask....What is "your" reason to Spark?? It can truly be the answer to reaching your goals and dreams if you let it.