Green Light - Yellow Light - Red Light...which way?
Thursday, August 23, 2012
So...I didn't go to the gym this morning. And I won't be going later. Thankfully, I can say that this was done on purpose. My shoulders are beyond sore today. I need to give them a day to rest before I put them through any more punishment. Let it be known that this August I have learned how to listen to my body better and I think it's paying off. Just yesterday I remarked that my butt seemed smaller. The shirt that was tight just a month ago fits me perfectly now. The pants that used to be a pain to get zipped are starting to get a bit baggy in the bum area. And I peeked at the scale this morning with fear in my throat and got a bit of a happy surprise (nothing official until September 1st, though, but let's just say it would allow me to mark off a few of my "goals" on my front page).
Today the plan is to ice and drink a ton of water. Last night after work I wasn't feeling quite myself. I've been having a lot of this lately as I try to adjust and figure out who the hell I am and what I really want. I went home and lay down on the bed while messaging Hubs...and then I woke up about 30 minutes later, sent him an almost incoherent message, and passed out again for a while longer. Around 7pm, I got up, changed out of my work clothes and into regular people's clothes, and headed down to town to meet up with him. I don't know why...I just had to get out of the house. There were leftovers for the kids in the fridge, I knew. They could stand one night where I didn't cater to them.
I ended up at Hubs' work, where I waited the last hour with him until he got off. Then we headed over to the Mexican restaurant where I broke all the rules but got some amazing homemade chorizo. Afterward, we headed to the store to buy Ethan an alarm clock and then I headed home where I crashed on the couch.
I felt like a sloth yesterday.
I felt lazy and slow and stupid.
And 6:30am was so early, somehow I didn't even realize that it was the same day I had swam a mile straight and I didn't need to feel that way.
I went to bed feeling really sore in my shoulders. My arms kept falling asleep and I was having terrible dreams. I woke up as Hubs was coming to bed and I finally rested when he was next to me. When the alarm went off at 4:30am, I got up, reset it for later, and went back to sleep.
Even when I have "failed" this month, for the most part I've done it consciously and without shame or guilt. And that already makes me feel a lot better.
I'm stressing over my plan for next month. I don't know where to go with my training. I'm running out of food ideas and my budgeting isn't working right yet. And I don't want to end August with a win and then go into September lost, so that's probably what happened to my head yesterday.
Off to ice my shoulders.
Off to drink a ton of water (bloated from the gluten and dairy I had last night...and tons and tons of sodium).
Off to try to settle my head as I find a plan.
Fall is coming.
There is reason to rejoice.
If I can sort out the whens and wheres and hows, I can sail through September and have myself a blast.
Just gotta sort it out in my head and then put it down on paper.
What are you guys all doing for training this fall? Got any ideas to help me along? I want to keep swimming. I love it. But I don't want to push this like I did the running and really injure my shoulders. I really want to run again, and I've been thinking of learning the taping techniques for my PF foot so that I can make small strides in that direction. And part of me wants to steal Hubs' bike and start getting some use out of that. But I'm scared I won't be able to do it...and the roads we live on aren't exactly helpful for those relearning.
Anyone got a directional sign I can borrow?!