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A little reality check

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Well when I wrote that last blog I said I had gained some of my lost weight back and made it sound recent. Today, after posting my first loss in a long while that I feel I earned....I went back through SP and really took a look at what happened.

Jan 2009 to Jan 2010 I lost 100 pounds
Jan 2010 to August 2010 I lost about 5 pounds. I was on a horrible plateau I couldn't seem to break out of- I honestly was still following plan, exercising, doing everything right. But I became pretty discouraged because of how things were going. I went to my Dr., we tried ups and downs in calories and exercise. Nothing. How I wish I had just hung on. I didn't.
August 2010 to August 2011: I gained back 40 pounds of what I'd lost.
August 2011 to August 2012: I have gained another 20 back this year. BUT, I am DETERMINED to lose that and more before the end of this year.

I wish I had just stayed the course. I wish I had realized that eventually that plateau would have broken and even if it didn't, wasn't I healthier and happier at 105 pounds lost than where I am (again) now? I can tell you I WAS. I felt better, could do almost anything, fit into almost any chair. I had lost a lot of my fears about traveling and being out in the world. And now I am here again, beginning again.

It was good to look back today, though, and see that there were some positives.

In the past any time I'd lost any weight at all I had put it all back on within months...this has been 2 years and I've put back about 1/2 of it back.. which, while sucky, is still progress.

This year has not been the train wreck I thought it was. I let myself get to the point where I felt I'd gained 100 pounds just this year...I felt slow and sick and tired and sore and....well, if you've ever been 200 pounds overweight you'd know what I mean. In reality- I did gain 20 pounds but not 100. And I need to recognize I am not a lost cause.

If I learn from this, I will have no regrets. My only regret would be to continue the pattern.
Summer is almost over here, Fall is approaching quickly. I am ready to move forward.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Amen, sister! I love you and I know emoticon
    2098 days ago
    I believe your spirit has changed in the last two years, and we know your medical needs have changed and your family has changed. You have to be as determined to help yourself as you are to help everyone else. You say it best, do it how you need to right now, just don't quit.

    2098 days ago
    Di you are for sure worth the effort. Staying the course at times can be so hard and with other things stressing your life it just becomes harder. But caring about yourself and fighting for that will help you to keep the course right now and with each little success it will continue to feed those good feelings. I know you can lose now and keep it going.
    You are my inspiration always.
    Keep believing in you, I do.
    Hugs and you are not alone on this journey.
    2100 days ago
    This has been a rough year for many of us. I feel from reading this blog you had a reality check, but as the others said you did not gain it ALL back and you did not quit. You have had some tough health and personal issues to deal with. You are back on the road to recovery my friend. We are all in this together and I feel lucky indeeed to have you as a friend.
    One of my favorite quotes:
    "Recovery doesn't have to be a straight line. As long as I am on the road, I must be going somewhere." ~ Ann Wilson Schaef

    emoticon emoticon
    2102 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/24/2012 1:29:52 PM
  • _KATHY
    You are so loved and admired. Wherever you are... I'm there as well. All be it... too often in stealth mode.
    2102 days ago
  • KNH771
    Thank you for your honesty. It takes a lot of courage. I've been struggling lately and trying to find a way back on course. Small steps. Hang in there. I know that you can do this!
    2103 days ago
    WOW, we are so close to having similiar experiences. I had lost 108 pounds , then in a couple short months, I regained 30, not proud, not happy but starting over with a new agenda now. you will make strides and have already. We are so proud of you.
    2103 days ago
    It is strange how your blog today dovetailed with what I was thinking about myself this morning.
    Your compassion and ability to listen even when your own world is in turmoil is a bigger gift than you could possibly know.
    You could never be considered a failure, even if you gained every pound back. Do you have any idea how many people your words bring encouragement and peace to? You would be flabbergasted I am sure.

    I too have carried an extra 200 plus pounds for many, many years, until 20 months ago when I asked God for help, and he directed me to Sparkpeople and then the Blue Sapphires.
    At one point I was showing a 125 pound loss. Although my weight loss has stalled for about 6 months and at some points I have shown a gain, the bigger picture is that I did not quit on myself, which is what I surely would have done without you and my Sapphire Sisters.
    It is so easy to quit. I have done it more times than I can remember.
    Staying connected even when I am not feeling motivated has helped to keep me moving in the right direction,even if it is not exactly a straight line.
    This is a life long journey for all of us, yet we feel a need to show perfection and sprint to the final goal we each have set for ourselves.
    We need to remember to look around and breath.
    We will do this together even as life continues to happen to us.
    One day at a time, one victory at a time.

    Hugs to a dear friend,
    the lunatic from California.

    2104 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/23/2012 9:18:27 PM
    WOW! You could be writing my story, word for word. I love you. Let's stay serious and get down to business. WE CAN DO THIS! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2104 days ago
    You are still ahead of where you are and that is saying something! I know you can do it!
    2104 days ago
    One day at a time! I think it is commendable that you have realized the positives in the situation; I think I really turned a corner, so to speak, when I realized that in my fitness journey. Before, if I messed up one meal, it was all-food-in-sight-in-mouth until the next time I decided to "try". Now I look at it as "get-back-with-the-program". You are already ahead of the game this time!

    2104 days ago
    Facing reality is sometimes stark, and soul searching. You have not quit, and you have decided to start again in earnest. This has been a valuable lesson, and you know where you want to be. You can do this, I know you can!
    2104 days ago
    I know how discouraging it is to regain hard won weight loss. I have regained most of what I had lost in 2003 over the past 9 years. It has been a slow process putting it back on, but just as discouraging. It is definately time to change. We can do it.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    2104 days ago
    Diane, honey, while I totally understand your disappointment, I really feel you are being too hard on yourself. You've simply described what happens to people with gluten issues until they start eating to address the problems (nobody can keep weight off with a broken gut, and a broken gut breaks your metabolism)... you fight to lose every ounce (and it is often ounce by ounce), and you cannot keep it off without eliminating the problem foods. Honestly, a lot of this was beyond your control at the time. I think you did stellar under the circumstances, and you're back at it with better information and you're still 40 lbs down from your start weight!

    These are all things to celebrate!!! And you have stayed the course for the most part... you're still trying, you're still here and engaged, and you have never stopped learning and trying.

    This is what makes me so angry with respect to the SAD nutritional recommendations... many people will still get fat doing everything 'right'. THAT'S the real problem.

    Just know you're not alone, and we are all here in the trenches with you.... and with new information, this can only get easier.

    2104 days ago
    I look to you for motivation and you have never failed. I agree with QUILTINGB52 that you are still on this course...and you have encouraged more than just a few people to keep on their course. xo
    2104 days ago
    Read thru this a couple times.....

    You said "I wish I had stayed the course" and I'm thinking....but you have, as you didn't gain it all back or more! Life happens....sometimes they are slight bumps in the road and often they derail us completely. But you have stayed the course, you are still here and still trying...

    I think that's all any of us can do......keep trying!!
    2104 days ago
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