My Time.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I have really felt over the last couple of weeks that God is intentionally taking me through a time of loneliness. I'll say right now, this is not an attention grab of "come hang out with me, I'm so LONELY!!", this is simply part of my journey right now.

Josh left for school at the beginning of August, I am handling his absence pretty well honestly. I miss him but he's doing great at school and I'm very proud of him. The boys miss him as well, but they get to see him on video calls and that makes everything okay again.

I have been blessed to have 4 friends in my life who are truly my best friends. They are women that I can be honest with no matter how embarrassing, convicting or just plain silly the situation is. They have blessed me so much by being a part of my life, and allowing me to be who I really am. Two of them are local, and two are quite far away but they are all my sisters by love, not blood. I love them dearly.

But right now, they are all busy :) . It's a strange situation for me, I'm used to being able to get together with them either by phone or in person and right now I can't so much. Lindsey's wonderful husband Steven was in a motorcycle accident a couple weeks ago (he's home and healing Praise God!), Jen just had a baby last week, Natasha had surgery on Monday and Nicole is currently prepping for a cross- country PCS with the Navy.

It's funny because it's all happening at the same time and I can't help but wonder if this isn't a God thing. On Sunday, our amazing worship leader was sharing her heart about stepping down and allowing someone else to take over as Worship Pastor. I admire Lisa so much for truly listening to and OBEYING God's voice in her life. She said something that really struck me. "If you aren't growing, you're dying." That really hit me and made me ask myself, am I growing? I used to think that a plateau period was okay, but is it really? I would often say, "I'm so busy, I don't have time to read the Bible, I don't even get to go to the bathroom on my own!" or "I pray, but I don't know if I do it well, it's more little snippets over the course of the day." I do truly believe that people have periods where they don't grow as much in their Christian walk, and I think God is taking me through a period of loneliness so that I will rely on him more than human friends.

So I am lonely but not alone. I am in good hands because they are the hands that created me and formed my life. I am blessed because I can still pick up the phone and call my friends but I'm still on my own.

On September 6, 2012 I am beginning a study with our church's women's ministry called "Becoming More than a Good Bible Study girl" It's a series by Lysa Terkeurst and I'm really excited to be co-leading this study (and the following study "Not a Fan" by Kyle Idleman) with Cindy. I'm not a natural teacher so I'm praying that God will qualify me because I don't feel it on my own right now. I am however excited to lead a study for women and I'm praying that we have an awesome group join us on Thursday nights. I also pray that God will allow me to forge new friendships and that He will remind me that above all else, I need him more and more.

More than anything. I'm earnestly trying to find time to get into my Bible, even if it's for a short period of time in a day. If I can find time for 10 therapies in a week, I can find time to walk with my Heavenly Father too. I refuse to die, so I must push myself to grow :)

~ Taken from my personal blog at http://www.thewildswithin.blog

I was reminded after I posted the above blog of this amazing song by Matt Redman. Totally fits where I am right now - www.youtube.com/watch?fe
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Kristin, I missed this when you first posted it but am glad to Have found it now! I know God will bless you and equip you to co-lead the group. I've been so blessed when I agree to lead! I enjoyed Lysa's Made to Crave study and plan to do her new Unglued with the ladies after the holidays. We begin "Walking by Faith" by Jennifer Rothschild on Thursday. Ordered 20 books and have 15 signed up. Maybe there will be a few more ladies show up on Thursday... God likes us to step out in faith and let Him turn our weakness into strength! Ma you experience that transformation in your personal life as well as in the study situation! emoticon
    2685 days ago
    I love seeing how God is working in your life and allowing this time of growth for you. Through your lonliness (and we can all be lonely even in a crowd; or even in bed with your husband!) God is yearning to come close and fill that spot. I love it when I feel His presence in my life and heart, and that is my prayer for you.

    How wonderful that you will be leading the Bible Study; it will be exciting to see how you will grow and learn!

    Julia : )
    2699 days ago
    Sometimes the loneliest times ARE when God has worked the most in my life... praying for your bible study and knowing that God will meet you in your lonely place... As far as making time to grow - I have told folks in studies that I have led that even 10 minutes a day is good - writing one scripture on an index card and carrying it with you as you go from place to place can help you memorize and meditate on it. Kind of the spark approach to spirituality - slowly build a new habit of study and growth....
    2705 days ago
  • TREP13
    My BFF reminds me from time to time that "God doesn't call the qualified; he qualifies the called." You will do an excellent job teaching and this is probably an opportunity to forge new friendships to help get you through those lonely times.
    2705 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by LEARN2BME