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More motivation to finish what I started

Sunday, August 19, 2012

I haven't been on here in a while because life has taken a toll on my time. Getting close to a month since I blogged. I finally did hit my goal of 60 pounds lost and am now sitting at 61 pounds lost which is awesome and my new clothes are starting to get so loose I have to wear a belt. They will work for another 10 pounds or so and it will be time to buy some smaller winter clothes.

This week has been tough. My mom has been dealing with a lot of serious ailments since May 3. She started out with a diagnosis of Bells Palsy and Trigeminal Neuralgia. The neuralgia is extremely painful and is located in the facial nerve. This lasted for about a month. That pain started to subside and then she started getting severe pain in her back, groin, upper legs. She ended up in ER 5 or 6 times in a matter of 2 months. She was finally diagnosed with an condition called Radiculopathy which is caused from Diabetic neuropathy and scoliosis. She has had both. She saw a neurologist and she has been taking all kinds of medications. She still has the Bells Palsy. Then this week she gave me a call on Tuesday evening in severe pain saying she could not get her neurologist office to call her back and she didn't know what to do and what to take for the pain that was so bad she could not stand it. I told her once again, to come over and I would meet her at the ER. They gave her lots of medicine including steroids and lidoderm patches and she finished up around 3am. She and Dad came to my house to sleep as they live over an hour away. The next morning around 11am she woke up and her speech and memory were deteriating. She was not making sense and could not remember things like her birthday or maiden name or address or phone number. So I took her back to ER to find out eventually that she'd had a stroke. I won't go into the whole story but we had some issues with the hospital and with the Doctor's care and as soon as she was released we drove her to Oklahoma City to have her seen at a stroke center. Throughout all of this her blood sugar was 300 plus or more. My mom is now at home and all speech and memory have returned. Her pain is manageable and her blood sugar is 132 today. My brother and his wife have gone to stay with her this week and cook for them and help them get on a healthy diet for their diabetes. My mom went for a walk today using my Dad's walker and made it quite a ways and back. She was proud of herself as she hasn't felt like exercising in months. I am going to try to get her set up on Spark when I go to stay with her in a couple of weeks. I think she would find it encouraging. She is the sweetest, most generous person I have ever met. She always puts others first so as you might guess she doesn't take good care of her self and really needs to learn to take care of herself.

As for me, I really got very little sleep all week. I got home Saturday afternoon absolutely drained physically and emotionally. My eating has been erratic from eating 2 meals good to totally cramming chocolate and potato chips in my mouth like a crazy woman. I know the chocolates and chips were emotional because following this I cried myself to sleep worried about my mom. The next day I got back on track but I must be burning calories pretty quick because I have noticed several times this week feeling like my blood sugar was too low and I need to get some stuff to check my own blood sugar so I can keep track of it.

The silver lining to all of this for me is that seeing my mom struggle with diabetic neuropathy, pain and stroke has further motivated me to get healthy and stay healthy. My genetics are knocking at my door and if I don't finish what I started It is going to come bursting in. My Grandfather had strokes as well. Both my parents have diabetes and take insulin. My Dad has had a Quadruple Bypass. I have been borderline diabetic for years.

Tonight, in exhaustion and fatigue I was craving sugar and starches. I went to the fridge and found the potato salad, pulled it out of the fridge and got a big spoon. I sat it down on the table and was proceeding to take the plastic wrap off when I stopped dead in my tracks and put the spoon down. With both hands on the potato salad bowl, I said to myself, "What are you doing Tasha? You don't have to do this. Get a bottle of water instead. You are not hungry. Put it back in the fridge." So I put it back in the fridge and got a bottle of water. I sat down on my recliner and called my mom to check in on her. Wow, that was really close because I was gonna finish off that bowl.... I knew then I better get back on Spark. Alright peeps, back on track and getting up to finish what I started!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD6851971
    I hate that I've missed blog notices and you've been tackiling mountains. I'm very sorry for my inattentiveness.
    I am so proud of you. I know the pot salad triumph. I'd doesn't go away. Some days you're so tough from flexing that will power muscle that something like this is a small feat other days the lying stomach knows our every weak spot. The shame from knowing we could've/should've done better holds us back from stepping forward. You're picture journey and this blog show how much you've grow with inner strength. I love the conversation you had with yourself. It was to the point and you knew ultimately it was your choice. Weither you liked it or not a choice to be wise was going to be made. I know this could've been less elaborate, but, you didn't give up under evertyhing because you refused that option and it's so inspiring. I've been doing the opposite.

    I'm sorry for all the stuff your precious mother id going through. How you're setting a right perspective onthis huge emotional journey is fntastic. Knowing that this would be your path if you don't moment by moment choose to care for yourself is hard, but, excellent.

    I hope you get rest. Sleep deprivation is a brutal form of torture.
    emoticon & prayers.

    3061 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1315172
    Hugs and prayers for both you and your family. I am glad you mom is doing so well and was able to go home instead into a rehab center. I am so proud of you. We will do this!!
    3073 days ago
    Prayers for you, your mom and family. Your mom is blessed to have a daughter like you. The cravings are natural, but you resisted and I am so excited that you did. If you can do it with all of that extra stress, I can too!
    Blessings, Suzanne
    3073 days ago
    Oh Tasha, I cried reading I can identify with these issues. I take care of my Mom every other week on my off days, and while she has uncontrolled diabetes, had two strokes and a heart attack, resulting in a quadruple by-pass, double knee replacement, and chronic pain, its' not beyond some control..she's still with me and for that I am thankful.

    You and your precious Mom will be in my prayers. I am so glad you got her to another Dr. and she is feeling better. Feeling helpless when a loved one is suffering is hard beyond words...

    You are a blessing to her, and to us here and I pray for God's provision, protection, peace and sweet rest for you and yours. Thanks for sharing this with us.

    PS....You did great...putting down the potato salad. I ate mine and I think I went thru 6 bags of chips and two pounds of I get that too!
    This too shall pass...and I pray quickly!
    3073 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11172095
    Your mom is in my prayers..your father, you and your family are in and will remain in my daily prayers and I am so proud of you for putting that potato salad back in the fridge where it belongs!! emoticon emoticon
    3074 days ago
    I have prayed for you and your mom, please try to get some emoticon we need it to emoticon great job with your emoticon emoticon
    3074 days ago
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