60,000-79,999 SparkPoints 73,522

Adaptations, survival & everything MORE

Sunday, August 19, 2012

I sit at a coffeeshop trying to block out the noise to type this on a large, outdated laptop inherited from a gamer who overused the 's' and 'w' keys (and 2 and at symbol, but those are used less often).

I adapted by making a text file that I keep on the desktop that has capital and lowercase versions of those letters I copied from the internet by doing a google search for anything that I could type.

Luckily I type fast, and am used to toggling (using alt+tab to switch back and forth between windows). I do that, then copy the s or w that I need and paste it to where I'm typing. It is AMAZING how often those lettters are used!!!! I mean, you might figure that "s" is popular, but "w" is also!! And switching back and forth between the two happens more than you think. (Otherwise it would just be paste paste paste!)

My point is that right now I figured out that I could have "sw" typed together on that text file, and copy THAT and paste paste paste, and just delete the one that I didn't need. I even congratulated myself on putting the "s" first, since I use that more often and can backspace quickly every time. This decreases my frustration a smidge, and makes it possible to type something like this blog.

The thing is...

I'm pretty good at adaptation. I adapted to being nearly 400 pounds, and still had a full-time job, supported myself and my husband in expensive Southern California. And I thought I was doing pretty well, as I sank deeper into debt... ignoring my depression, the pressures that were robbing me of a truly happy life. Sometimes when things are so hard, the smallest relief feels exhilarating. It's easy to forget that "normal" should feel better. Despair isn't normal. Daily pain isn't necessary. I can survive nearly anything. Especially here (I have a friend who fights her depression in the midst of war, daily abuse and ridicule in the Middle East.)

When I was a kid, to comfort myself my refrain was "It could be worse." It was a way I survived the constant dark thoughts. I was suicidal by 12, and hospitalized for depression (by my request) by 13. But, I think that while true, it is missing the point (and didn't truly comfort me). Now, my life is in the stage of "It could be better." I'd rather think, seek, and accomplish the life that I want. I still try to be grateful for all that I have, without being complacent or getting lost in the negativity. This is more empowering, envisioning the possibilities, and then taking action to get them. Not just surviving, but living life to thrive.

There is a California insurance company who has taken this concept and used it for marketing called, Kaiser Permanente. Big company politics aside, I can see why they've latched onto this. It's something many people have forgotten... But it doesn't belong to them, or to a trademark.

To thrive belongs to all of us.
Some of us here on Spark ended up overweight because we had more than what we needed - more calories than our bodies could process, more sedentary time, more of a lot of things.

I think we ALL deserve more - more of the things we TRULY want and need: happiness, functioning bodies, delicious and nutritious foods. Luxurious indulgences of personal care, pampering that does not damage us, but restores us!

People ask me how I stay motivated, how can I still be here after four years, how could I lose over 100 pounds, and maintain it without significant regain, and keep going in the face of adversity and setbacks. This is key: I try to refresh and remember what I truly need and deserve. I try to be more present in my every-day life, not lost in the fantasy of something I'm not even trying to achieve. It makes me more emotional - slightly more vulnerable, having things more on the surface. But I've tried not caring, and it doesn't work. I've tried mindless eating, and that definitely doesn't satisfy anything for me.

I continue to go back to what my reasons for living are, my reasons for pursuing a healthy lifestyle, and it makes it slightly easier to choose MORE of what need to get there, and less of what I don't.

Oops, my original point was that I've been saving for a new laptop for over a year. So even though I have the ability to type up a long, rambling, all text blog like this with my new and improved copy/paste method, I deserve something faster and easier so that I can find a better job, or send emails timely, or interact with my sparkfriends - whatever I want or need to do.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You DO deserve a new laptop. Good for you for saving for one! YAY!! And we grow and change or die, so.. good for you!!! :) Change is the only thing that people HAVE to do for survival, truly. Proud of you. XO
    2129 days ago
    Thriving is a good thing. I love this blog Joce. :)
    2129 days ago
    So many excellent points Jocelyn! Thx as always for sharing your wisdom!

    2129 days ago
    I like to think that if we easy to adapt to any situation, we can thrive always!
    2130 days ago
  • SYZYGY922
    This is a wonderful post! I was in survival mode for so long that I stopped taking care of myself. I am good at adaptation, too, at least I used to be!

    Keep on thriving!

    (Side note: I once learned how to type on a keyboard without a proper space bar. I managed for YEARS.)
    2130 days ago
    I love your adaptability!
    Creative, and then MORE creative!
    Way to go!
    2130 days ago
  • .DUSTY.
    Love your blogs! I've been such a huge (couldn't think of a better word, LOL) fan for several years now.

    The statement, "It could be better" is so simple it's Amazing! It's definitely going to be my new mantra:)

    In the meantime, wishing you many words without "s,w and @ 2" until you get that new laptop! emoticon
    2130 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/19/2012 10:20:13 PM
    You're very creative. Your ability to adapt amazes me. I know you'll reach your life and weight loss goals. I hope you get your new laptop soon. You deserve it!

    2130 days ago
    You're so right! Sometimes we have to be in survival mode, but thriving is where real living happens.
    2130 days ago
    Can't wait to read what else you come up with, when you can drop that particular copy/paste adaptation.


    2130 days ago
    You deserve all that and more.
    2130 days ago
    First of all, your keyboard adaptation is brilliant! I have a larger laptop that the g/h keys require a ridiculous amount of work to press, so I avoid using it at all costs. lol

    Second, thank you for this blog. It is so important to realize, especially when things are not optimum, that we do have the power to make them better and that we do deserve to thrive. Thank you.
    2130 days ago
    Congrats on having a great perspective to achieve goals and for being a success! Keep it up!!!
    2130 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by WOLFKITTY