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Living in the now

Friday, August 17, 2012

Today I am taking the time to reflect back over my first 5 days of recommitting to a healthy life style. It has been a good week for me and I am feeling positive about myself for the first time in a long time. As I think about the difference between how I feel now and how I felt in the time leading up to now, I think the difference is in my approach. I have been battling with weight and self esteem issues for a long time now. My approach has usually been to throw myself into changing lifetime habits quickly. I would over commit to what I was willing or able to do and then beat myself up for not achieving my goals. Each time I recommit I say this time will be different. Each time I try to drown out the voice in my head that says what makes this time different.
This time I am taking a different approach. This time I am listening to my inner voice. I am learning to trust myself and to value who I am. Because of this change, I have taken the time to think about what is important to me and am setting realistic short term goals that are achievable. This time I am not trying to change a lifetime of habits in 1 day.
Life is to short and is very complicated. I am learning the importance of paying attention. I am not looking back because I can't change the past. I am not worrying about what will happen in the future, that just causes me anxiety. I am learning to pay attention to the now. Now is real. I need to notice and appreciate what is right in front of me. I am paying attention to how I feel and learning to trust my instincts. I am enjoying the beauty of the things around me and trying to slow down and enjoy what life has given me. I am not perfect, but then again no one is. I am a work in progress and I am working on being the best that I can be.
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