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Stress and The peanut butter & jelly

Friday, August 17, 2012

I haven't wanted to "dump" my stress on a blog. But I'm starting to think that is one of my biggest problems, not wanting to burden others with my feelings. But blogging is for me, right? This is to help ME through this journey. So here goes...

First stress - My brother-in-law has moved in with us, and will be here for a year. He is a custom home builder and with the economy has to take work where he can get it. He lives 2 hours from us in Bend Oregon, but since his recent divorce has sold his house in Bend. So here we are. I love my brother-in-law, but having him here is such a stress on my marriage. My husband and I rarely get the private time to talk that our relationship needs. So this is a stress...I want to help because he is family, but it's hard to give up my personal space and time with my husband.

Second stress - We have put our house up for sale. I can not even put into words how much I love my house. My brother-in-law, father-in-law and husband built it with their own hands 9 years ago, and it has felt like home since day one. 9 years ago, my husband and I both had different jobs. We made three times what we do now. It used to be easy to live here and feel good about it. But now it is just stressful figuring out how to keep all of the balls in the air. We both feel good about selling. We know we can keep going the way we are if it doesn't sell, but it would feel much better to downsize into something more manageable. So we've got our house on the market. That is a whole new story of stress and emotions.

Third stress- My 24 year old step-son is making horrible life choices and we don't know how to help. I honestly think he may be a pathological liar. I feel like my hands are tied and have to watch him spiral down. It breaks my heart for him and for my husband who loves him like only a parent can.

OK, I think that's enough for now. I'm crying and have to clean up the mascara and get to work. But these are good tears. I needed to get this out, and it's amazing how just typing it out can really help.

The moral of this story was supposed to be how I have been seeking comfort in food. I got so stressed and went into auto-pilot. I stopped taking care of myself. I don't know how to take care of my emotional needs, so I bury them in food. I guess that is probably the definition of addiction. I suppose it is good that I at least recognize it.

So let's end on a high note! I decided last weekend that enough was enough! I have been taking good care of myself all week and feel much better emotionally and physically. I have lost 5 1/2 pounds of the 10 pounds that I gained by stress eating and not exercising. I'm back on track for now...and will keep working at it until one day (hopefully) I stop falling off.

Thanks for listening!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NETSUE64
    There always seems to be something that takes our energy and we don't take care of ourselves. I finally figured out that now that I weigh less, I have more energy to take care of things that need done. So taking care of myself makes it easier to take care of everything else.

    I hope things are better for you now, it's been a while since you blogged this.
    2107 days ago
    Wow, Jessica, this is huge. Most important is you and DH--hope you two can talk and figure out how to keep that relationship where it should be. Long walks together? Hugs to you. so glad you are doing better with food--you don't need guilt and self-anger on top of everything else. But do love yourself and take care of yourself. This is just a little bump on the journey. You can do this.

    I do love peanut butter. I sometimes build it into my plan. I will pray for you this week!
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    2131 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/22/2012 7:32:42 AM
  • TAMELA_B have some STUFF going on! Of course you are crying and wanting to stress-eat. Feel proud of yourself that you are owning your feelings and recognizing that you've been falling back into old patterns Congrats for taking steps to get yourself back on track. It's hard enough to do that when life is calm; it's a whole other thing to do it when things get stressful. Keep taking steps toward your goal. We're all right behind you.
    2134 days ago
    There's absolutely no reason to keep that kind of stress to yourself! Use the blog, and your Sparkfriends - it's what we're here for!

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    2135 days ago
    You can do it Jess! You have learned so much and made so many changes so're my inspiration! It's nice when you have a friend/family/co-worker...whatever who gets it!

    I'm proud of you for taking all the steps you've come a looonnngg way baby!
    2136 days ago
    sounds tough! But you can do this! Remember, you're teaching yourself new habits. It takes time for them to become your default, but they will eventually. Keep up the great work!
    2136 days ago
    You sometimes just need to get things out by either saying them or writing them. I feel your stress and anything I can do to help please just ask! Those are big stresses.

    2136 days ago
    Those are some huge stressers. I'm so sorry. I'm here to listen and hope things get better for you.

    2136 days ago
  • VALYNN26
    So sorry to hear about your house. I know that has to be tough. As far as your brother in law goes, I have been in the same boat since the end of June. I don't have family that hs moved in, but a friend of the hubby's who is a mooch! He hasn't even been trying to find a place to go. This has put alot of stress on my whole family & we only live in an apartment. So he's always laying around on my couch or floor & finally we had to tell him this past Monday that he has to go. I can't stand it no more. I guess it's a little harder to do when it's family, although I've had to tell family to go before also. I wish you luck. My oldest will be 18 next month & is a senior this year. It scares me to death! He's a very young & inmature 18. He's a follower, not a leader. And I know it's so easy to make the wrong choices. Hang in there. It'll get better. Congratulations on the 5 1/2 lbs.!! And yes it means alot just to realize what the problem is. Again Best of luck to you. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask. emoticon
    2136 days ago
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