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So it seems...

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Yes, yes, it's due time for me to own up to my stupidity. The blog entry I've been avoiding for some time now. The time has come to write it because there is no more time to waste and twiddle my thumbs. This Summer has been a HUGE disaster when it comes to my weight loss and healthy life journey. Not what I expected. I gorged and gorged some more on vacations, at fairs, carnivals, boardwalks and beaches alike. I was unstoppable! It was disgusting and quite pathetic and I am so unbelievably ashamed of myself. It's unreal. It really is. I was 201.9 pounds in early June. Mid-August, I am a disgusting 246 pounds. Yes, you read that right! 2-4-6. How could I have gained that much in that short time? I don't know. Honestly, though I ate a lot, it didn't feel like that much to gain 45 pounds. It's absolutely shocking to me! I got on the scale yesterday after a week-long vacation at the beach and almost had a coronary when I saw that number flash before my eyes. But it is what it is and I have to own that. It's 100% my fault. I was not in the correct mindset at all this Summer. But it is time to face reality and press on. I can't live like this at all. I am disgusted with myself. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. And it's not because of the weight gain. It's because of pure shame and regret. I don't ever want to feel this way again. I want to FEEL PROUD of myself again. It was such a wonderful feeling I had when I was working hard and losing weight and feeling great. I crave that again.

(PS..And for those who are concerned about my high blood pressure, it IS under control at this time with the medications. I am not lackadaisical about that at all and take it very seriously.)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I havent had long term binges, but I have had weekends here and there over this past summer, of not really caring as much, like when family comes to town, etc. My experience is that certain things pack it on more quickly, like wheat-flour based carby items. And it might not all be fat gain. Could be water. Could be wheat bloating, could be many things and not necessarily all fat. Good news though, it does work it's way out if you will be faithful and eliminate those things.

    More good news - you are aware and on top of it before it got any worse :) Just do what you know you need to do. You will be back down in no time!

    I can hardly wait to watch your progress!


    Smile and Enjoy the Rest of Your Day!
    Melinda (gopintos)
    Wheat Belly Team

    2073 days ago
    Honesty! I love it.

    You know exactly what you need to do now - so GET TO IT! You'll recover from this in no time, and this time, you'll be able to learn the self-control you need to make it last forever.
    2074 days ago
    You said it.. press on! Sometimes we have major setbacks and fall back into our own ways, but you are owning up to it, and moving forward.

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    2074 days ago
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    2075 days ago
    Well, you took the first step and gave yourself a close examination. Keep the spark and take the next steps to reach your goals. I'll be rooting for you!
    2075 days ago
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