A Plea for the Spark People Community
Thursday, August 16, 2012
So here I am again. Staring at my spark page and wondering what keeps making me turn my back on this page and the people and honestly, myself. I have 0 excuses for why I keep doing this, why I just log on here and scan everything and then log back off to not return for a few months. I open my email and see that people have left me comments or goodies but I just ignore it like it never happened.
I don't like being fat.
So, I need help. I feel like I can ignore things too easily so I am pretty sure the only way I'll ever reach a rock bottom is by actually having a heart attack or ending up with diabetes. I don't want to deal with either. Ever. Period.
So what do I do? How do I make this a permanent part of my life?
I was watching Big Brother After Dark the other night and watching them all work out and being covered in sweat like literally soaked shirts and pushing hard and there was this guy named Joe who's not as physically fit as the others and while they were pushing hard he was walking back and forth and I laughed at him for only walking while the rest of them were working hard. Like a slap in the face I thought.. how can you even laugh at this guy.. he's doing a lot more tonight than you have all summer... okay.. all year really. Believe me, I will never laugh at him again.. well.. except at the funny faces he makes when he does push hard.
I need advice. Tips. Comments. Whatever you got that could jar something in me to push me into this again and to make it permanent this time. I do wanna do this but for now I need more than just myself for encouragement to keep going.
I need you guys.