one year reflection on a life changing decision
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
One year ago yesterday I had my last drink - so today is my one year anniversary of not drinking - my soberversary as I've seen it called.
It has been a difficult year but I have made it through without drowning my sorrows, my stress, my anger etc so i am now stonger than I was before.
Was it easy - NO! But I got through it with the help of my husband who is also celebrating his one year soberversary today. We were each others support and going through this together has made us stronger as a couple. He supported me but I also supported him as he had much more difficult time of it at first than I did. Knowing that if I slipped he would also start to drink again helped me stay with it. His health was being affected by it and I want to keep him around for many more years (have already been married 38). We are not the type to go to AA etc so we just faced it together - and still are.
Now I look back on it I think that sometimes I used to use events/problems as just an excuse to have the drink. I'm stressed so I need one to relax - I'm depressed I need one to feel happier etc. But the drinks did not change the situations - did not really change my perception of them - just delayed it and in many cases maybe even increased the problem.
It's only since I stopped drinking that I realized how controlled my life had become. What I would do - where I would go etc. Everything planned around having a drink at the end of the workday - the afternoon of the day off etc. Only after do you realize the decisions you made that revolved around your drinking - even the friends you made - the ones that didn't make you feel bad about your drinking - the ones that wouldn't comment on your drinking etc.
You may lose some friends - but then again were they really true friends if they don't want to be with you anymore because you don't drink etc? Even family members did not fully support - at first they do but then you start to hear well can't you just have one or two? You don't really plan on doing this forever do you?
I've seem many blogs/posts that basically say the same for those that have lost the weight - others waiting for them to fail and gain it back. Maybe they just don't like that someone has been able to quit drinking or smoking or having lost the weight and they haven't. But you have to do what you know is best for yourself - it is not your problem if they can't deal with it - it is theirs.
Then in January I decided it was time to lose the weight and get healthy. I didn't gain when I quit drinking as I just replaced it with unhealthy eating habits so now time to stop the food addiction as well. So I came back to SP!
SP not only helped me to gain my health back but I found a great support group to help keep me strong and keep me from drinking - the members of the Living Above the Influence Group. They are a great group and everyone there is supportive and understanding. If anyone out there is contemplating going AF (alcolhol free) come by and join the group to get the support you will need. Team Leader Cyndy is great! Thank you to the whole LATI group - you have made me stronger.