Back To Life, Back To Reality

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

..back to the here and now, yeahhh...OK, I'm a nerd who loves 90's R&B.
And yes, I have to post the link to the video because now the song is stuck in my head. Caron Wheeler has a sick voice.

OK, done with my ADD spaz out/digression.

I'm back to my "real" life, even though it's slightly different. Same guy as the last nine years but now he's my husband instead of my boyfriend. Same two teenagers but now they are my stepchildren instead of my "unofficial" stepchildren, and we all have the same last name, which will be nice once school starts because let me tell you, being the acting mother of a kid in high school and needing to talk to teachers because I'm the one who remembers details and stuff and having to jump through hoops and get papers signed because I was a domestic partner instead of a WIFE was a huge pain in the neck. Now I can just call and say, "This is Mrs. Watkins, I am calling about Ryan.." and BOOM! DONE!. Love that.

What I don't love is the weight I've regained since going off the deep end stress-eating before we eloped and then all the celebratory eating we did in Cape Cod, eating Lucky Charms for breakfast and acting like the food we put in our mouths had no consequences. Even Randy thinks he's gained weight and is concerned that his pants won't fit. It didn't help that he picked up this month's Men's Fitness with Arnold Schwartzenegger on the cover giving us lectures about eating out or eating fast food.

We both know we need to cook at home. We both get lazy. A lot of times it comes down to me, but Randy is easily talked into takeout. Both of us want to start this next leg of our adventure together with healthier habits.

The best thing about Randy is he's always super supportive of my health and fitness goals. The worst thing about Randy is if I go off the rails, it doesn't take a lot of arm twisting to get him off the rails too and we go on ice cream benders. This can't keep happening. He's a big enabler! However, I'm grateful he doesn't Food Cop me, because that would piss me off no end, either. My ex was a food cop and I wanted to smack him every time he said something like, "Are you sure you want to eat that?" OF COURSE I'M SURE, it's HALFWAY TO MY MOUTH, TOOL! Ugh, still have bitterness. Deep breath, let it go!! Let it go! So yeah, Randy doesn't Food Cop me, but he also doesn't help me stay on track if I'm insistent on getting some junk food.

So it's all up to me, DANG IT! So, because I know that my commitment to myself waxes and wanes, I'm here on SparkPeople hoping to absorb some of your mojo to get my mojo up and working.

These are the reasons I want to eat right and exercise and lose 100 pounds:
I will ward off diabetes and heart disease - I have three good reasons to stay healthy!
I will have a stronger back and hip (being out with a bad back sucks!)
I will live longer and have a higher quality of life
I will feel better, physically AND mentally
My skin will look better with all that water and freggies
I will be SO PROUD of myself for finally overcoming my lifetime battle with weight/my body
I will be an ATHLETE
Randy would be able to pick me up without needing hospitalization
I would have a stronger self-esteem - from the accomplishment yes, but also for all the
shallow reasons -- who doesn't want to be hotter at 44 than she was at 24?
I will feel more feminine
I will be proud of my body
I will be so relieved to stop the food behaviors that cause me so much pain
I will stop hanging up on people with my jowls
I could be Arm Candy!
The boys would be proud of me
I will be a good example to my family
I will have more energy and better sleep
I will be able to wear high heels without fearing I am going to poke holes in the sidewalk
I would be able to wear those cute clothes that they don't make for plus sizes
I would feel like I was the person I am meant to be -- I am meant to be strong and healthy!

Each positive choice I make today will take me to where I want to be. Each time I turn away from food items that do not serve me, I will get stronger and stronger and stronger each time they are offered to me. Every time I choose to move instead of choosing not to move, I am inching my way slowly towards Onederland and beyond.

Every little thing I do matters. I don't have to be perfect, but if I make positive choices with my goals in mind 80% of the time, that's HUGE. At this point I'd be happy making positive choices 50% of the time! So I'm gonna start there and work my way up to 80%.

I'm glad to be back, but wish I could spend more time soaking up the salty air and sunshine and maybe if I had a do-over I could spend more time walk/jogging by the ocean instead of flopped in the sand with trashy novels. Maybe in one year I'll have changed my lifestyle so much that running along the beach will be a big part of my Cape Cod trip! Let's hope so, until then it's one day at a time, starting with this day.

Can't wait to read all your blogs and catch up with you.

OH! And here's a few wedding pictures for ha-has:
Standing on the Falls Bridge at Lovers Leap State Park

Randy reads his vows to me

Hand blessing/handfasting

"You may kiss the bride"

Mr. and Mrs. Watkins with our amazing officiant, Stephanie

I know it's a cliche, but it truly was one of the happiest days of my life.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You crack me up, thanks for the laughs I so needed that lol, oh and congrads on the wedding. l wish nothing but the best for you, now you got me singing... Your blog was so down to earth and just what I need to get off my butt today and take a walk today.. Thanks for the inspiration and motivation...
    2076 days ago
  • HHB4181
    I'll be down the Cape on Sunday! Congrats! and emoticon
    2077 days ago
    Oh and I LOVE 90'S R&B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    2077 days ago
    Congratulations on your marriage!!!!!!!!
    2077 days ago
    Totally love the wedding pics, thanks for sharing. emoticon
    2077 days ago
    beautiful wedding!! love it!

    you've got so many wonderful reasons to make the positive changes - i'm sure that you will see fantastic results! emoticon emoticon
    2078 days ago
    Thanks for an insoiring blog - I love the "this is mrs Watkins" story and you are so happy to have a cooperative partner! emoticon
    2078 days ago
    The title of your blog had me singing the whole time. ThankYouVeryMuch. LOL!

    HAHAHA You tell 'em Mrs. Watkins!! :)

    LOVE it that your hubby wants to be WITH you on the healthy journey! Now, just take a deep breath, smile, and jump in with both feet :) hehe You can do it. I have faith in you, Laura :)

    Gorgeous pics and being happy that you are MARRIED and totally happy and in love is NEVER cliche ;) XOXO
    2078 days ago
    2078 days ago
    Count me in on the ass kicking! Thanks for sharing a bit of your day with us, the pics are just beautiful!
    2078 days ago
    Aw, you guys look so cute!! Lovin' the birdcage veil, btw. This blog made me giggle... what would I do without your humor?? Anywho, I will be getting myself together right alongside you from way over here on the Canadian prairie. I wish us both good luck!!
    2078 days ago
  • SWP0213
    I want to be an ass-kicker, too!! But, I need to be on the receiving end more often. emoticon

    Love the pics... you look so happy! Congrats! Love the sunflowers, love the bridge... beautiful!

    You can do this! We all can!!
    2078 days ago
    Thanks, Paskalini!!!! One of the reasons why we kept it so small/private is because we HAVE been together 9 years, we felt silly having the whole ball of wax when neither of us are spring chickens...I've never been the whole "dreaming about my wedding" kind of girl anyway -- my dream wedding was Vegas/Elvis...we would have done that if it were in the budget.

    Lauren and Sexbobomb and Paski, we're ALL GONNA BE BADASS ASSKICKERS!!!! I'm so glad you're my Sparkfriends, you're all totally awesome.
    2078 days ago
    Thank you! I made the fascinator and birdcage veil for about $11!!! I'm very proud of them, I was looking around on Etsy and thought, "Shoot, I can do this, I have a glue gun and minimal sewing skillz..." Plus I already make flower hair clips, this was only slightly more complicated emoticon .

    In fact, my entire ensemble cost less than $60!! I found the dress on eBay. I also made my necklace. Our whole wedding was just slightly less than $300 including dinner at the diner. We are some frugal Mofos.
    2078 days ago
    Ok I'm a total dork and I got all weepy eyed over this. Congratulations!! I know when you've been together forever (like Bryan and I have also) people don't think it matters as much. You are gorgeous. You may have had a little bit of a rough time but like you said back to life!! You can do this I know you can. So Chin up and head back in the game. :)
    2078 days ago
    I want in on the ASS KICKING! Seriously, I totally fell of the wagon this past month and need some strong and bad ass girls to keep me in line!

    Ok, now that that is out of the way, YAY YOU! I am so glad you took pics, and I love the little fascinator/veil thingy! You both look so happy! Congratulations to both of you and to the boys too.

    emoticon emoticon


    Oh, and when I saw your title my mind immediately went to Eminem "snap back to reality/ Oh there goes gravity"
    2078 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/14/2012 3:25:22 PM
    emoticon Yay, wedding pics!!! You guys look great and so HAPPY!!!

    As for your mojo, it's still there -- I can totally see it peeking out from behind all those fabulous reasons to lose weight! Plus, as "the strong one" in the family when it comes to fitness and eating right, you have an additional reason, which is to be the best possible role model you can be to make all those things happen for the people in your family, too!

    C'mon -- New Year's Eve is just four months away. Let's you and me kick some ass between now and then and become even more fab than we already are!
    2078 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/14/2012 3:13:29 PM
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.