Monday, August 13, 2012
I had a nice long conversation with an old friend of mine this weekend - she's trying to pass the time in the hospital (fighting a rare blood cancer). I realized how often I do not call her and of course by the end of the conversation vowed we'd chat more often (we typically email/post on FB). That simple commitment, it turns out, can be more difficult than imagined, yet how does it make the person on the other end feel?
I can remember when I was growing up, we'd spend most vacations on camping trips. At campsites I'd make friends and we'd become pen pals - writing back and forth for a least a year sometimes many. I always seemed to find time to do that I suppose in those carefree days of younger years. But finding time now to do similar things had become a chore - just "one more thing" to add to the list! What was that doing to my health?
The past many months I've dealt with horrid work hours (so bad they actually did impact my health), personal commitments and challenges and just life keeping me busy. More so than I've experienced in a very long time. And so it leads to absence - from calls, visits and even Spark. After what felt like a breakdown, I declared myself living life differently. Fit by fifty, not living on my work computer, going back to the things I enjoy more so than less. And back to Spark. It had not been my intention by any means to "leave", I just couldn't do one more thing these past few months. I was officially a lurker!
And being in a virtual community, it can be hard to explain and to "see" what the other person is going through. Just like talking to my friend who knows that life goes on "normally" for others, while she stays in a bed for weeks at a time.
I look forward to re-joining my yellow teammates in the Fall challenge, to helping out with the leaders and otherwise getting a grip on balance. I'm cleared and going back to the gym - slowly but surely. And am putting aside that catch up time for my virtual and local friends. And so to my sparkfriends - I do hope you understand. My thoughts have been here while my computer has not. I'm happy to be back.