Missing you

Monday, August 13, 2012

My son moved away last Saturday. This is the first time in over 20 years he has not lived with me. And it has been he and I the entire time. I thought I was ready for it, but I guess I was wrong. I cried like a baby for 2 days. Then I had no choice but to suck it up for work. Since then I have tried to stay as busy as possible. Last night was the first time I actually sat on the couch and watched TV and that didn't last long either. It seems my emotions are ranging from, missing him, being disappointed that he is not keeping in touch ( I know it has only been a week), angry that when he has called or texted it was because he needed something (I know I should be happy he still needs me at all) and hurt that he doesn't seem to want anything to do with me now that he is finally up at his dads.
And I guess his dad told him I was taking him to the cleaners because I was having Jim pay his share of the car insurance. Jims share was 200.00 but that is because he drove recklessly and my premiums went up.

Cab someone help me with the stages that are normal to feel and the stages I need to punch myself in the face for?

And while I do feel my purpose in life is over, I would never take my own life.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hi there Funky. This is a big adjustment for you. Sorry we seem to have lost touch lately. I have a daughter in college so I know how tough it is. My youngest is now a senior so she'll be leaving in a year or so. Also, don't know if you saw... my husband committed suicide after doing a bunch of horrible things financially to me and the girls. It was by far the worst thing I've ever gone through. You are more resilient than you think but you have to get out there and meet people. That's what I did and it saved my sanity. My Zumba friends really helped and I also have a 34 yr old boy toy to amuse myself with. And I'm 50! It's just a new normal for me and I was terrified at first but now it's been seven months and I'm OK. It's still hard but it does get better.
    3110 days ago
    I am an empty nester. The first six months SUCK! There is no nice way to put it, that being said you raised him to be an adult now it's time to let him be just that.

    Remember all the stuff you wanted to do but never could because of his schedule.............guess what NOW is the time to do it! Take a free class, learn a new hobby, find new friends. Keep busy and don't focus on the negative look for the positive. Hang in there it gets better I promise.

    3160 days ago
  • DWEBI09
    Hello Michelle,

    It's me Debi from the Outlaws (season 11 and 12)!

    You have raised your son for the past 20 years. I'm sure you have done the best you can to guide him in becoming a man. I think some young adults go through stages in finding themselves. Give him some room to learn on his own or with the help of his dad. I'm sure sooner or later he's going to realize what a terrific mother you are!

    Take care
    3161 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/13/2012 10:18:10 PM
    Hi Michelle, your purpose in life is not over. Your son lived with you for 20 years. He is an adult now and needs to be on his own to make his own life,yes he will forget to keep in contact except when he needs something. I guess that is good unless he is using you. Now is a stress full time for both of you and you will both grow because OF IT. Just be there for him when he needs mom. About dad, I can't speak to that but you have had him for 20 years and dad how much, your influence is probably stronger but they are decisions only he can make. He is a big boy. And you scare me by your reference to not taking your life. you have to much to live for. You will make it. I HAVE NEVER HAD KIDS so I am looking at it as an objective outsider

    3161 days ago
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