Monday, August 13, 2012
My son moved away last Saturday. This is the first time in over 20 years he has not lived with me. And it has been he and I the entire time. I thought I was ready for it, but I guess I was wrong. I cried like a baby for 2 days. Then I had no choice but to suck it up for work. Since then I have tried to stay as busy as possible. Last night was the first time I actually sat on the couch and watched TV and that didn't last long either. It seems my emotions are ranging from, missing him, being disappointed that he is not keeping in touch ( I know it has only been a week), angry that when he has called or texted it was because he needed something (I know I should be happy he still needs me at all) and hurt that he doesn't seem to want anything to do with me now that he is finally up at his dads.
And I guess his dad told him I was taking him to the cleaners because I was having Jim pay his share of the car insurance. Jims share was 200.00 but that is because he drove recklessly and my premiums went up.
Cab someone help me with the stages that are normal to feel and the stages I need to punch myself in the face for?
And while I do feel my purpose in life is over, I would never take my own life.