Rough Start to August

Monday, August 13, 2012

Went to see the spinal specialist and I have a severely herniated disc. Surgery isn't an option just epidural steroid injections 3 times a year and some physical therapy. Doc said it will heal itself..in two years. Disappointed but really nothing I can do about it. The doctor didn't really give me any clear do's and don'ts about exercise mainly pushed that off to physical therapy but walking is ok as long as I don't tax myself...whatever that means.

Had a rough weekend. Went out to listen to a friend's band playing at a local bar and ended up running into an old love. My star-crossed love. It never would have worked out. Logic tells me this every time he trickles through my mind, but logic has such a tiny voice when the ghost of that old love suddenly becomes flesh and blood before your eyes. We had a good little catch-up session and hugged and went our separate ways. I drank more than I should have and ended up having a little over-emotional cry fest on the way home. Spent today in a hung over pity party. Head clouded from the booze and the haze of things I don't let myself think about any more. I stayed in bed too long. Ate whatever would stay down.

Finally started feeling human again after dinner and managed to get out and walk my dog. The cool air and overcast sky was just what I needed to get out of my funk. I live a blessed life. I'm blessed to have loved someone so much that they linger with me still. I'm blessed to have new love on my door step. I'm blessed to have friends who wipe away my mascara stained tears when I'm being a hot-mess. I'm blessed to have another day to make better mistakes tomorrow.
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