I have a little homework to do.....

I had my second counseling session last night. This session was to help prepare me for an upcoming family event. I always get anxiety when I have to go to these functions with my family. The way they treat me makes me not want to even show my face. But I want to get over this and on Sunday, this party is for my niece who is turning 1. I don't want to miss it.

Our hour long session was discussing if anything changed over the week. Me talking, her writing. Then we went into ways to "get through" the day with my family. Here is my homework for Sunday....

1. Go for a run before the party or get in some sort of cardio activity.

I told my counselor that when I have problems, one thing that always makes me feel better is getting a little exercise. It helps bring my mood and spirits up from all those good endorphins. So before the party I am going to get in some much needed cardio!

2. Write down nice things about myself and when my mind starts going negative, repeat those nice things in my head.

I am very hard on myself. When people treat me like dirt the first thing I do is say to myself, "what is wrong with me". But the point is that there may be nothing wrong with me and I need to start believing that. It is hard for a lot of people to say nice things about themselves because we are our worst critic. But she mentioned that if we start saying these nice things and good qualities about ourselves everyday, we will finally start to believe them. This won't happen overnight.... it is a process and you have to constantly say these nice things on a daily basis. It may be weird at first but it will help you in the end. So before Sunday I have to come up with my list of nice things about me. Wish me luck!

3. This is probably going to be the hardest one.... actually talk to my sisters.

You are probably thinking, "wow Elaine.... seriously why is this hard, this should be the easiest thing". But the point is that I shut down and become very quiet when I am being mistreated. I leave the room and remove myself from the situation as a block for myself. I haven't really had much a conversation with my sisters lately. One because they have been ignoring me. Heck, just the other day my sister tried to pretend that she didn't see me in the skyway at work. But this is something that I need to work through so I am going to give it a go. Even if it is just saying "hi" it is a step in the right direction.


I left the session again last night feeling refreshed, renewed, and full of hope. This has been the best thing I could have done for myself because I feel like it will help me in other areas of my life and not just with my family issues. Down the road we are hoping to get a full sister meeting in place to help bring peace and closure to the whole thing. Until then.... baby steps!