Revelations and Tool Time with Kati
Thursday, August 02, 2012
This morning while I was getting the dog his breakfast I had a revelation about my own eating. I realized that one of my dreams has finally come true: I now think of food as a tool more than as a goal. This was so exciting for me!
Most anyone who has battled with compulsive overeating can tell you that it frequently feels like your life is ruled by food. I know for me I thought about food for most of the day. What would I eat next, when would I do it, how could I sneak in that something delicious that I know I don't need but really want, where can I eat so no one is looking and judging. It was always about food and there was no room to think about me.
So this morning my revelation was also that I think about me more than I think about food. I am important, brilliant, charming, loving, and worth all the goodness the world has to offer. Sure food is tasty, but that's where it ends. Too much food gets in the way of all that goodness. So it's just a tool to get me to the goodness. I figure I don't carry around a jackhammer, hedge trimmer, and tire iron all day, so I can put the food down too. I use it when I need it, I use as much as I need, and then I put it away.
Calling food a tool makes it easier for me to choose wisely, too. If I had my choice between a stubby 2" manual screwdriver and a power drill, I'm going to choose the drill unless I have a very specific need. Sure they both do the job, but the drill makes things so much easier. I'll use the shorty only when I really need it. Same thing goes for food. Eating healthy will get the job done the best. Cake has a time and place and it certainly is NOT all the time, but occasionally it's the right thing and that's OK. And I wouldn't keep hammering a nail after it's in the wall, so I certainly won't bother eating more than I need. They would both cause damage that I'd have to do extra work to fix later.
So if you're looking for some wording for your food decision process, here's my suggestion:
1) I want to live life well.
2) Food is just my tool in order to live life well.
3) What kind of food is the best tool to make my life better?
4) How much food will get the job done?
5) Do I really want to cause damage now that I'll have work extra to fix later?
No one ever taught me that food is really only a tool, and I wish that had been instilled in me from the beginning. I have glorified it, worshiped it, vilified it, hated it, loved it, and had all my emotions caught up in it for most of my life. Now it's no more important than my lawn mower and that is an absolutely amazing feeling I would love to share with everyone who struggles with that same misguided obsession.