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The biggest challenge of all.....

Monday, July 30, 2012

Here at spark you are challenged to drink 8 glasses of water daily, eat 8-9 f/v daily, exercise for "x" amount of time daily.......these challenges have the best of intentions, to help you break old habits.

But what if you just can't complete the spark challenges no matter how hard you try and your lifetime of experiences brings forth the child who tried so hard but couldn't live up to expectations set by others. That child who had to explain the one B on a report card full of A's, that child who tried to surprise her mom by cleaning the house and the areas where she could have done better were immediately pointed out, that child who could never get the best parts in dancing school, that child who was picked last for "teams" in gym class, the child who never fit in with "a" group during her lifetime.

Before continuing and before you all immediately begin to hate that mom, what she did was with the best of intentions. She only wanted that child to be the best that she could be, she often told her whatever she wanted to do she could. That mom is also an amazing person, an abuse survivor, so the fact that she broke the pattern of abuse is testament to her strength and courage to be a better mom, she made mistakes just as many of us do.

With that said, that doesn't change the effect on that child, feeling as though no matter how hard she tried, she could never live up to others expectations of her. Beginning to develop a personality where perfection was a must.....the dreaded type A personality, the all or nothing personality.

What effect does an all or nothing personality have on your life....duh it's all or nothing. If you can't drink 8 glasses of water a day, you become frustrated and give up. If you can't eat 8-9 f/v a day, you become frustrated and give up. If you can't exercise for "x" amount of time, you become frustrated and give up. That child has destined herself to fail for she is repeating a lifetime of all or nothing expectations.

With that said, that child is facing her biggest challenge of all.....challenging herself to do better and to be kind and encouraging to herself. To stop trying to live up to others expectations, to live up to her own expectations, to change her mindset from all or nothing to a work in progress.

As you may have guessed, that child is me and I'm facing my biggest spark challenge of all, eliminating the all or nothing mentality. I am a work in progress and it's ok to challenge myself to drink just two waters a day when I typically drink NONE, it's ok to challenge myself to eating 3 f/v daily when I typically eat NONE, it's ok to set "x" amount of daily exercise when I typically do NONE.

For some is far better than none even though it's not ALL. It is an important first step in a lifetime of "good enough". Good enough to establish healthy guidelines, good enough to start this thing called a healthy lifestyle, good enough to beat the all or nothing mentality.

So today I will be kind enough to myself to ditch the all or nothing mentality, today I will beat my biggest challenge of all.......acceptance that sometimes my best doesn't meet set expectations, but IS good enough when I've given it my all.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    "Darling, open your eyes.
    You are not made up of those words that hurt you.
    Or that number on the scale.
    Or the expecations that you feel you will never meet.
    You are made up of nothing more then you.
    Simply, beautifully, wonderfully, uniquely you.
    You are a lovely and complex soul.
    An individually fascinating combination of
    thoughts, ideas, feelings, emotions.
    No other is as beautiful as you.
    Look past the mirror.
    Look at your soul.
    Only then will you see yourself as you truly are.
    So smile!
    And don't forget to love yourself."

    "I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final say in reality." DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

    3206 days ago
    baby steps!! little itty bitty baby steps! and next month you'll take another little baby step. I KNOW you can do this Tracy!
    3206 days ago
    ooh... this is gonna' be VERY hard to do, Tracy, not that you can't, but it's gonna' take some MAJOR focus cuz' after living up to expectations to the point that all those little disappointments left it's *mark* and you demand no less than perfection now... ::shakes head:: like I said, this is gonna' be VERY hard to do. But........... if anyone can 'do' it, it'll be YOU, mainly cuz' you are giving yourself the permission to.

    You're gonna' have to set your own x, y, z's, as far as how much H2O you think you will strive for, how many freggies each day, how many minutes of P.E., etc., but first, you have to check and double-check your focus- your attitude- your PERMISSION slip, cuz' if you don't, it's right back down that slippery slope!! You're admitting, right up front that this is, The biggest challenge of all..... sooo... that permission slip is your pass.

    It's a solid golden pass... a sanction- an oath you have given yourself despite any measurements used by others and ESPECIALLY used by yourself in the past!! You are declaring that you are CHANGING THE RULES, Tracy, and you're going to HAVE to remind yourself every day- maybe several times in the course of the day, that YOU are not stepping into that cage EVER again!! emoticon
    3207 days ago
    Doing something is better than nothing. A's are always given to people for effort. Without trying you never know if you can? Somethings take longer to get the hang of. But each time you try, one day it will happen.

    “You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.”
    “There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.”
    -- Beverly Sills

    3207 days ago
    Tracy, that's a great attitude to adopt! Something is better than nothing! I remember when I got my Wii Fit and I could only do 10 minutes before I was gasping for breath. I was so ticked at myself, but every day I got back on and before I knew it, I was working out for 1 hour and actually enjoying it. A little usually leads to a lot! You can do this my friend, you can do this.
    3208 days ago
  • TINATC26
    It is always good enough when you have given it your all, my friend!! You can do it, and we are right here next to you, or behind you, always to help! Baby steps, my friend!!

    3208 days ago
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