1-99 SparkPoints 4

Quit Looking at Me!

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Well, yesterday I went on my 2nd jog this week here in my neighborhood. If you read my blog regularly, you know I'm a devoted TaeBo fan. I do it every morning, and I've pledged to keep doing it (or any other form of exercise) for the next 3 months (6 months total), and then I'll reevaluate and determine what my regimen needs to be after that.

I've decided that I need to add some jogging 3x a week in the evenings to up my cardiovascular endurance. I've actually enjoyed the 2 jogging sessions I've had this week, but I've found myself becoming very self-conscious while out there on the road. There's an area near me that has a sidewalk, and is a little more 'off the beaten path' than the main crossroads. But there's still traffic. Mostly cars, but foot traffic as well. I can't seem to stop assessing what the passersby must be thinking about my form/speed/butt/overall appearance as they drive or walk by.

I know it shouldn't matter. I should just get out there and do what I need to do for my own health -- devil may care. But I do care. I've worked out in the privacy of my own home for 3 months now because I don't feel comfortable exercising in front of other people. I don't even want my husband watching me.

It's a big step for me to put myself out there like that, but I know it's for my own good. I keep feeling that if I were 40 lbs. lighter, and had a cute little jogging outfit, I could feel a little more confident about strutting my stuff for all the world to see. I'd whiz by, impressing onlookers, and inspiring them to greatness. Right now, I feel more like a spectacle -- from my drab jogging pants and dingy T-Shirt, to my thunder thighs, to how slowly I jog. I'm stopping every couple of minutes to walk it out.

I know, I'm a work in progress. I'm trying to remind myself that whatever people may be thinking about your appearance out there, they'll think for 1.5 seconds and move on with their lives. I'm not going to allow it to deter me from reaching a higher level of physical fitness. I'll deal with the embarrassment, and have a story to tell. I know, I know. I should just get over it and enjoy my workout. And I am actually enjoying it, believe it or not.

I just wonder sometimes if I'm the only one who is tempted to shy away from getting physically active for fear of being judged?
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    emoticon Save your $$$ for something awesome for yourself don't worry about matchy matchy yuppy stuff. Keep up the good work.
    2394 days ago
    Heck yeah!! I used to "run" only at night in my neighborhood but I never had any reals goals, so that never lasted long!!

    Now I've set myself the task of "running" a 5K, so I've started by "running" at the gym. I have not released myself into the wild yet LOL. I use the quotes because I really go "wogging" -- I walk/jog.

    I like the air conditioning at the gym, the nice springy track and the 100% level path....and mind you my 5K time still SUCKS. I can never pull it in in under 41 minutes.

    I don't appreciate those tiny little ladies in their matched outfits that lap me but I'm delusional enough to convince myself that I look like them...SOMEDAY!!!


    Sounds like you are an exercising BEAST!!! Good for you!

    2395 days ago

    No, you're certainly not the only one, but it's so good that you are knowing the truth,
    that you are a work in progress. You keep on keeping on. You're doing great!
    2395 days ago
  • AATKIN01
    You are so not the only one. When I first started jogging, I was majorly self conscious. I always thought people were staring at me when I ran. I felt like my form was probably hunch-back of notre dame looking, especially when I was tired... which was within a minute or two when I first started. But you know what, after a while, I got over it. As I got more confident (being able to run longer... not faster yet lol) I started not even noticing the people at all. I would get into a zone and just keep moving.

    You can do it. Do give two cents to those around you. emoticon
    2395 days ago
    Wow. "You look as ridiculous as I feel." That pretty much sums it up. Most people don't have the drive/courage to get out there themselves, but they'll judge others for doing so. Thanks for the blog link. I'll check it out now.
    2395 days ago
  • LE7_1234
    Nope. You're not the only one. One of the reasons I prefer running on the treadmill at home is I really hate how much I sweat.... (TMI?? LOL!!) And actually, I hated the feeling of being watched when I was 10 pounds lighter.

    Some people are A$$holes. Like the guy I passed once who told me "you look as ridiculous as I feel." Ugh. Most people really don't care.

    But some... Well, if you want some inspiration, here's an amazing blog--found the link here on someone's SP blog.

    2395 days ago
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