10,000-14,999 SparkPoints 14,495

How to murder the 10 thousand pound enemy

Saturday, July 28, 2012

I am an optimistic person by nature. You may not believe me because right now I'm feeling blue. But I swear I am very positive about life. Even the really tough stuff.

The problem is that life seems to really pile it on sometimes. I sometimes wonder how I cope with the number of life-issues I have to juggle at once.

There are people out there who manage to successfully shift their worries onto someone else. Or they have elaborate networks of supportive family and friends. On the occasions that I've tried to lean on others, they have generally let me down. So over the years I have learned to take care of my own business, which has made me a very strong person, but also doesn't give me any rest.

Sometimes, there is only one, or possibly two things to deal with in life. That's not so bad. But at other times there are so many things that I have no idea what to deal with first. I feel heavy with burden, like I weigh 10 thousand pounds. And what do exceptionally heavy people do? They eat.

I have great periods, months at a time, where I am able to separate the rest of my life from my eating habits. During those periods I tend to eat well, get plenty of exercise, and lose a substantial amount of weight.

There are other times however, when I feel as though food is the only friend I have. I know all about relaxing in a hot bath, or talking a short walk, or pampering myself with a manicure etc. I know that there are other ways to nurture myself, rather than eat. But those things don't work. They aren't my friend. Food is my friend.

Sometimes I want to murder my friend, food.

So, the question I ask myself is... how can I commit the perfect crime and get away with it? How can I murder the one friend who has gotten me through 10 thousand pounds of burden, time and time again?

Surely, without my friend, I will be crushed by the undue weight of my life-issues.

A hot bath is not going to fix some of things I need to deal with. Neither will a long walk. What fixes things is 'being resilient', 'fighting back', 'persevering'. All of which are exhausting. Something about food replenishes me so that I'm not exhausted anymore. It's the friend who lifts the burden and gives me the strength and resilience to carry on further.

What to do, when there is no-one to fall back on, and the only thing that seems to provide respite is food? How does one do away with the crutch of food?

How should I endeavour to murder my toxic friend, food, and get away with it?

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    724 days ago
  • KELAN5
    WOTSHEWROTE, Thank you so much for having the courage to write this blog post. I know many of us in the 200+ set can identify with what you are going through. When I restarted this journey back to myself, I wondered what I was going to do without being able to come home and self-soothe with meat and potatoes. Everything seemed a bit closer to the surface. I've been able to reshape my habits, however, by exercising through the stress. Eating regularly (as in three meals a day), getting enough rest, and realizing that I can make mistakes has helped tremendously. I have to believe that there are other outlets for frustration that do not involve food. Perhaps you will find that while journaling and hot baths don't do the trick, sharing your feelings with your community here on Spark will! emoticon
    2072 days ago
    Many use alcohol and other drugs as a crutch. For me sometimes the only reward in life is good food. However I abuse food by overeating and eating poor foods. Maybe the 12 step AA program is needed
    "Hi WOTSHEWROTE my name is TOTHEFUTURE AND I am a binge eater"
    2127 days ago
  • OOLALA53
    I finally accepted a few years ago that many of the problems I had were ongoing and were not going to be solved in any one moment. LIke you, I knew a bath or a journal entry was not going to do it. But I've learned that I can just sit with many troubles as they are without eating. Eat good meals and realize that you've fed yourself when the binge monster asks for food so it's okay to ignore it. It really can become your new habit.
    2129 days ago
    Were we cracked out of the same egg!?! You must read my yesterday blog - you are my doing it alone, fighting the enemy (I called it a monster) soul mate.

    I beat the heck out of it yesterday and woke up a pound lighter. Take that beast!

    Maybe if today you take it from one side and I the other, it will be a glob of green slime on the floor tonight.

    Hang in the battle, dear fight-mate, we will get to victory.
    2129 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.