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Tuesday, July 24, 2012


An international code signal of extreme distress, used esp. by ships at sea.

An urgent appeal for help.

Boy, oh, boy--I sound like a BROKEN record! If you all want to jump ship in regards to me, I would certainly understand! I just don't know WHAT TO DO!!!!! I feel so many emotions right now:






HOWEVER, my alternatives are not that promising!

Gain all my 63#'s back?????

Have aching joints and painful inflamation?????

Look HORRIBLE in all pictures????

STRUGGLE to garden???

Disappoint my family????

MOST of all--let myself down!

SO the prayer of my heart is what my DEAREST friend Crystle penned so beautifully,

"For me it [Sparked] means allowing the Holy Ghost to blow away the cobwebs of apathy and replace in me the coals of life."

Oh, LORD, please blow away the cobwebs of APATHY and replace it with the coal of life!

SO here I go again! And here is my plan!

First off, I signed a contract with myself:

Secondly, I picked 10 goals from a GREAT article entitled, "50 Ways to Lose 10 Pounds"

These are the ones I'm going to work towards:

1. 2x week limit my calories to 650 calories
2. Eat1280-1650 calories 4x weekly
3. Fast 1x weekly
4. Walk 3x daily for 10 min FAST walks
5. Swap supper for soup
6. Add more cayenne pepper to my diet
7. Eat more yogurt
8. Floss and brush to avoid eating
9. Find a buddy
10. Daily meditation

I'm hoping that this will be the kickstart I NEED to lose these 10#'s that I've gained since hitting my goal weight! And I HOPE AND PRAY that I can not grow weary in the process.

Well, enough for today. Thanks ONCE AGAIN for being a supportive presence in my life! BLESS every one of you for 'bearing with me' in my weakness! I love you to pieces!!!!!

{{{{{{huge hugs}}}}}}} Susan

P.S. I'm rethinking the 'low calorie' days because of what my friend Crystle said! I know she is right, but I thought maybe it would kick me in gear.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I've been MIA but when I was on the page today your SOS caught my eye.
    I've been 'good' for the last month for what good it's done me but I too lose heart and the last few days have been a disaster so I empathise no end. I do so want to lose a few Kilos in the next few weeks. so I'm with you here. I think I too should make myself a contract. What a good idea.
    So what's with the cayenne pepper?
    2115 days ago
  • DAWNO64
    It's not how many times you fall that count, it's how many times you get back up. Your plan CAN work for you; the low calorie days are part of what's called "calorie cycling" and it can actually help shake off the weight. You can read about it online. But most of all, know your Spark family is here for you.
    2116 days ago
    You certainly are not alone! You've done so well in losing the weight and maintaining your loss for the most part. It is frightening to see the scale moving back up but that's when you reevaluate what you're doing and get back to the basics.

    You know what you need to do and how to do it. A healthy lifestyle will have a few ups and downs. The trick is to avoid the trend.

    God bless you as you refocus.
    2120 days ago
  • -RUBIES-
    Your determination will pay off. Keep pressing in and pressing forward Susan. Don't give up and don't give in. You did it before and I know you can do it again. Keep at it. You CAN make it happen.
    2125 days ago
    I will chime in with the rest. A plan is a good thing emoticon but 2 starvation days and a fast day will slow your metabolism. Stick to Spark consistently for 7 days a week and try to hit the maximum protein each day. Feeling hungry? drink a glass of water and clean something, go for a walk, or go pull weeds!! munchies? celery or air popped popcorn help with that for me.

    Hang in there, above all...don't panic!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2125 days ago
    You know, Susan, I know you are not alone in this struggle. I have gained back some of my pounds and at times have been very discouraged. You are doing the right thing by letting others know you need support. And guess what....there is plenty of support here on SparkPeople. I love my emoticon and together emoticon !!
    We just need to emoticon forward and trust God to be right there with us giving us strength to do what we can't.
    About the low cal. days.....don't do it. It isn't the healthy way to kick start emoticon
    Remember you have a lot of friends who are here with big listening ears anytime you need to talk.
    2125 days ago
    It is so good to know there are others like me out there. I lost 100 pounds in the last 3 years and gained it all back. Not a 100 at once but 30 lost here and gained 40 back, lost 25 gained 5 lost 10 gained 35 and so on. I struggle so with moderation, diet and of course counting calories and carbs. I just keep trying. I figure as long as I keep trying I am winning if I quit I have lost.
    You can do this. Keep fighting, and your eyes on the prize. emoticon emoticon
    2126 days ago
    Ksigma1222 who lost over 100 pounds and is one of the featured blogs right now posted this advice and I liked it so much I copied and pasted it in my personal notes just yesterday. Now I would like to share wtth you after reading your blog:

    Ksigma1222 says: Only do things I will be willing and able to do for the rest of my life.
    Keep things simple.
    Have a backup or fallback plan.
    Have distractions for when things get rough and/challenging.
    Because I took the weight off gradually and in a sustainable fashion, I do not fear regaining it.
    Understanding and balance. I started my journey shooting from the hip, so to speak, and just kept adding things and such to my non-existent plan. SparkPeople gave me the tools to map it all out and understand what it all meant. I was guessing at numbers and such and found that I was way off and not understanding at all what I was doing or how I was doing it. That threw me way off balance. With the way I was going, I was going to fail by hurting myself with how much I was off, or be forced to stop and just recover. Maybe after that I would never want to be healthy again for fear of going out of control again. Also the people to say “It is OK, you are human.”

    2126 days ago
    650 calories will only trigger your body into starvation mode and the body will put on more weight. I must agree with everyone here, I have taken weight off and put it back on again + more. This is easier said than done, but try not to be down on yourself. We aren't defined by what our body looks like. We are defined by who Jesus thinks we are. He doesn't value you because of your weight, He values you because He made you a special treasure and He loved you enough to die on the cross for you. You have eternal life and nothing can take that away from you. You are a special valuable treasure to Jesus. Don't get down on yourself, pick yourself up and try step by step and start over again. On the days you feel like cheating so bad, call out to Jesus and He will help you. All is not lost - All is not lost.
    - Dorothy
    Jesus help my sister see her way back to eating healthy again. Heal those parts of her that need to hide in food. Send Jesus in the flesh for these healings. In your name Jesus I pray this amen.
    2127 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/26/2012 3:26:16 AM
    Dearest Susan! I'll add my 2 cents worth about that low calorie day - not a good idea because it will probably make you want to overeat at the next meal & then you will have lost any benefit. That was a good suggestion to look again at the last picture in your blog - see what all your hard work & the Lord's grace accomplished! He's still providing the same amount of grace - tap into it again. I read something today about exercise that I thought was good - add a few squats or lunges during a walk just to mix things up a bit & that'll help with boosting metabolism - it was an article from a diabetics magazine about 12 things to boost metabolism. ...I've not had the best self-control with eating this evening - I should've stopped with the turkey sandwich I finished up for supper, but came home to make corn-on-the-cob with mac & cheese for hubby, and conldn't make myself leave it alone.... I think I'll go brush & floss my teeth right now so I won't eat anythng else til I go to bed.... love you! xoxoxoxo
    2127 days ago
    Good for you, I gained back most and am working on it all over again.
    2127 days ago
    Susan...we have all been there and back, ups and downs. I think you should definitely get more exercise into your routine...think back to how much you lost when walking daily. Spark works for you. Go back to what worked for you all along.... emoticon emoticon
    We are here cheering you on and praying for the strength of our God to help you have victory.
    emoticon Karen
    2127 days ago
    We all seem to be struggling right now. I know that I am and I know the reason why. It is too hot for me to spend time out of the house and that makes such a difference to me. I went out a little bit ago and the wind kicked up a breeze but it was a hot breeze. I am not an indoor person and I feel like I am going into hibernation just lay around and not move as much as possible. That doesn't stop the eating. I like setting up goals as you have. I think the calorie intake should not go as low as you have it the one day a week, but that is strictly my opinion.
    Don't give up on yourself because if you do your weight will creep back up and I sure don't want to see that for you.
    you are in my thoughts and prayers
    2127 days ago
    I'm sorry you are struggling so much. I'm glad you are rethinking that low calorie day, it would probably do more damage than good. I'm going to go check out that article and see what I can use. emoticon
    2127 days ago
    I agree with everyone who said that 650 calories is too low. Stick with your Spark plan - you lost the weight that way and you will get the 10 back off that you lost. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2127 days ago
    Susan, I am having a struggle right now. So even if we do not live next door to each other, actually Arizona is a ways from where you live, we can be buddies here on SPARKPEOPLE!
    Let us be accountable to each other. I am going to start doing the Leslie Sansone Walking DVD's plus Dancing which I love and I am going to start swimming again. Let us SPARKMAIL each other daily for accountablility.

    You have a Great Plan! emoticon emoticon

    I know with The LORD We Can Do This!

    2127 days ago
    change is hard but I know that emoticon
    2127 days ago
    Something must be going on for you to have put the weight back on and now you feeling so bad about your self. That old saying "It is not what you are eating, but what is eating you??" Many times that creates the changes that creep up and surprise us. You have lost it before and you can do it again. Be as patient with yourself as you would a friend. I know when you or anyone looks at my scale after all this time and it has not moved a lot could wonder what does she know. I have gained and lost at least 50 pounds from 145 to 150 over and over. I no longer let it upset me because each day my breathing is better and I can now work out in the pool. I don't do it as often as I would like, but I do not control the weather and what creates problem with my breathing. You will end up where you want to be, but get happy with yourself where you are and things just seem to be easier to accomplish. Prayers and good energyies coming your way!! emoticon
    2128 days ago
    i know my biggest issue is to bust through my attitude and apathy. i must admit though i am trying to do some small things and i did pretty good at that on sunday. i just want to be careful that the weight i lose is not muscle mass so i try to make sure i get extra veggies and raw fruit
    2128 days ago
    Take a look at the last picture in your blog....... emoticon emoticon emoticon That picture alone is a wonderful motivator, and something to be extremely proud of!! You will go above and beyond what you set your mind to!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2128 days ago
    Fantastic blog. Great goals and plan.
    2128 days ago
    I am here with you emoticon together we will learn to once again keep our eyes on Jesus, and try to Crave Him more than we crave the food that we know will eventually lead us right back to where we were. I will walk this with you through Sparkpeople emoticon I also need to remove 8 pounds to get back to my goal weight. I feel all the emotions that you are going through and it is discouraging. Like you, the option of going back to where I was is not an option emoticon So come on Jesus Girl, lets get this done
    2128 days ago
    Sounds like a good list of goals to pursue. But, I would suggest ONE thing: There are two goals in which you stated that you wanted to add/eat "more" of something. Try to keep your goal more specific and measurable. If you already eat yogurt once a week then eating it 2x or 3x would be more measurable than saying eat "more." The same goes for cayenne pepper.... Just a suggestion.

    PS - Thanks for sharing that article. Great pointers from Prevention Mag
    2128 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/24/2012 6:25:08 PM
    Oh no Susan so sorry to hear that. But don't be so hard on yourself. Maybe you should re-think your plan. It seem s bit severe. I know I could never stick to something that tough even though I have had that last 10 lbs to lose for a couple of years. It could damage your health and drain your energy.

    Try going back to the SP principals that you used in the beginning to lose weight. Portion control, nutrition tracker, water, and 30 minutes of exercise each day.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2128 days ago
  • MJ7DM33
    I know that emoticon !!!
    2128 days ago
    You are worth the time ... the effort to do this ... and are more than able to overcome this challenge with the help of your Lord and your friends. He promises He will never give you more than you can bear and He promises that He will never leave you. Maybe ... just maybe He wants you to lean on Him to win this battle ... Whatever the circumstances, He wants the best for you ... Proverbs 29:11 proves it ... Hugs and prayers as you continue on your journey! emoticon
    2128 days ago
    Oh my dear friend, such good advice coming your way from your friends! You've taken the first step, you've cried out for help and prayers. We will rally around you and lift you up. You have a plan and a goal, but as Crystle said don't bite off more than you can chew at first, it might serve to frustrate you and derail you. Take baby steps. The weight didn't come back over night and it won't go away over night. You can do this, you have the knowledge, tools, desire and the drive!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2128 days ago
    HI my friend! I hurt for you ... wish I had great words of wisdom. Twice I lost 40# kept it off for a few years (!!) and then in times of stress, gained it back (plus some). Lost in my early 30s, mid 40s and then late 50s (50 # off this time). I CANNOT do this again at 70 -- so this HAS to be a lifestyle change. For me, staying active is critical, as is portion control. I couldn't do what you're suggesting (fast 1x/week, and extremely low calorie 2x/week). I need to fix meals that hubby and I both eat, and not have stuff around that I am just supposed to stay away from. When I fix desserts, they are low fat and mostly sugar-free. Once in a while I will choose an unhealthy option when we are out (thus eliminating the possibility of having a tempting thing in the house to stay away from). I don't tell myself "You Blew It!" -- I didn't make a mistake, I made a choice. As long as I don't make that same mistake over & over, I will be OK. Right now I am just trying to get rid of 3#, and it's hard!! But I feel the difference in the way my pants fit since I got back to the gym regularly this month. My almost-daily 30-50 min. walks are not enough. I need the strength training as well. Scale is moving slower than I'd like, but being able to wear pants to work that were uncomfortable to sit in in June shows me that I'm making progress. I am extremely blessed that hubby is totally on board (in fact, he was a "pushy" guy before and I didn't appreciate that! I had to decide to get healthy for ME, not because he wanted a thinner wife!!) He will eat whatever I give him, and not complain. He's more disciplined than I am in eating -- he doesn't have the sweet cravings that I've always struggled with. I love it that we walk and hike together often. And he is fine with me taking time for the gym -- even if it means some home task gets put on the back burner or he is alone at a time we could have been together. Guess my only encouragement is to keep remembering that your HEALTH is essential for you, and for your family. There is so much you cannot control -- but we are accountable to take good care of our bodies. Sending you BIG Susie2Susie hugs!!
    2128 days ago
    Not too many ever sail right through maintenance. When you see the scale go up 2 or 3 lbs it is time to add exercise and decrease calories and get it back on track. You have a plan and if that works for you, go for it! emoticon
    2128 days ago
    I will be praying for you. Just consider your goals again. They may be too lofty at this point. What you need is a way to ensure success, not failure. You don't need to lose the 10 pounds in day, week or month. Remember it's a marathon, not a sprint. Pam
    2128 days ago
  • LINDAF49
    Gentle hugs for you - praying you through the stress of this time in your life and praying for gentle calm to decend upon you as you set out on this set of goals ...God bless you real good...I encourage you and salute the efforts you are making to keep healthy.
    2128 days ago
  • LADYJ6942
    Hang in there, you will drop back down. You know what to do and how to do it.
    2128 days ago
  • YICHE12
    I'm so sorry about your gaining your weight again but I know that you can succeed yet again. There's no point in beating yourself about it either. What I have found with Spark People is to continue online even though you have reached your goals. It's too easy to go back to old habits. emoticon emoticon

    P.S. I just love your picture of you gardening! emoticon
    2128 days ago
  • MINDY502
    Susan definitely thinking of you right now and know where you are coming through and going through the same i have pretty much gained all of 40 pounds back that I have lost and I need that hope and strength also. We both can do this and I believe in you most of all you have always been an inspiration and still are so dont ever give up and ask God for that strength you need for the journey. God bless!
    2128 days ago
    Oh my goodness-----What did I read???? You-- disappoint your family!!!!!! NOT A CHANCE!!!!!
    Susan, your family is blessed beyond words to have YOU--- You stand for virtue, integrity, perseverence, and so many more beautiful attributes!--- The daily "challenge" of weight management is nothing you can't handle. AND I might add that weight management will not define SUSAN--- You are powerfully strong in body, mind and spirit. God's grace is always upon you,-- every day, every hour, every minute. Indeed, you have a cheering fan club here at Sparkpeople, and certainly in your beloved family!! HUGS for you, Susan... and keep on posting!
    2128 days ago
    Sounds like a great reboot, luv! While you're at it, fall in love with the you God created as you are right now. You're beautiful in all the photos above! That love will also be an encouragement to treat your temple the way God would want you to treat it for your worship.

    I've begun using the brushing teeth to quit wanting to run out to the kitchen and feed my face. I'm successfully on Day Two of a healthy reboot to lose about ten pounds to a healthier BMI. It's amazing how quick this weight comes back when you start getting a little sloppy. Hug, hug!
    2128 days ago
    Susan, those things are fine if you chose to do them but be careful. Cutting the calories too low adds its own problems. You are NOT going to gain all of your weight back. Biggest thing, are you being active every single day or at least five times a week? Are you making it happen no matter what? Activity is your friend. It is the key to losing and keeping the weight off. Unless you are sick, no excuses. emoticon If your clothes are uncomfortable wear them anyhow to remind yourself to not take a taste here or there. Also when others are pushing you to just have bite or just try this be sweet but firm. We cannot go back to where we started. When we began this journey we knew it was a lifestyle change. That means we had to change forever. It is SO easy to backslide into old patterns. Ask me, I know. Fresh bread, ice cream and chips have become more commonplace than a year ago. I'm working on getting them out of daily eating. Clean eating is a must for me and it is a long hard road to stay on with all the temptations around me. But you and I got this. emoticon

    Father God you know how hard weight loss and maintenance can be. You know how weak our bodies can be when it comes to food. Father strengthen my sister right now. Let her crave foods that add health and vigor to her body. Let the foods that would weigh her down both physically and emotionally leave a fowl taste in her mouth. Guide her toward the things that will encourage and lift her up as she continues on this journey to good health. When she is feeling weak remind her in you she is STRONG. In Jesus' most precious all powerful name. amen

    Love you woman. Do NOT give up on yourself. You CAN and WILL do what needs to be done. Stumbles do define your journey. Success is in the process. Keep heading toward the prize. It is like our spiritual walk. There are many ups and downs but not getting there is NOT an option. emoticon
    2128 days ago
    Remember this blog as a great visual motivator. And maybe one day when you feel like you can take on the world you can create another one to review when you feel like you need help.

    You've been to your goal weight - so you know you can do it! Dig deep now to get it done! We all know you can!
    2128 days ago
    You CAN do it! You have such a wonderful family and so much faith! Hang in there and do the best for you so you can be the best for the family too! Never give up!
    2128 days ago
    i applaud your determination. emoticon
    2128 days ago
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