Sugar calling me and God calling me
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Today has been an amazing day - on 2 counts:
1) I went back to church after being gone for most of the past year
2) after 3 days of being 400 calories over my high Tracker target - I DIDN'T GAIN WEIGHT.
starting with triumph #2. This maintenance thing messes with me. Fear and guilt that trigger foods will take over my life and I will go back to old habits. It makes sense that I can add a few hundred calories to my nutrition tracker base to maintain instead of continue losing. It would also make sense to do that with HEALTHY, NUTRITIOUS foods. this last week, day 1: add a snickers bar, a banana popsicle, a slice of banana bread, snap pea crisps, and 2 glasses of wine. day 2: add pistachios (nuts are triggers for me), chocolate, guacamole, crackers, a LOT of cheese and 2 glasses of wine. day 3: add 6 cupcakes.
The intensity of the GUILT of having a 3 day junk food party and FEAR of falling back into the pattern of sugar addiction was crazy! even though total calories for the days all weren't really that bad - between 1700 - 1900. Here is where the triumph came in: today I went right back to the gym and on a hike with some friends, got right back on nutritious foods, I have 10 days in a row with my weight in maintanence range (a new breakthrough) AND the other 6 cupcakes on top of my fridge? it's just not worth the super sweet sugary taste (crazy my sweet tooth has changed! I LIKE blueberries better!) and it's not worth the guilt, so no thanks.
Triumph #1 - back to church.
My heart was consumed by the heart of Jesus a few years back, and I served in my church with great love and passion, intensity and commitment. I took a break to set a few things right with my 26 year old daughter and to be available and help plan her wedding. Who knew the break would be so complete and so long. I fell into habits of doing all kinds of other things with family and around the house on the weekend and neglecting my spiritual health and community.
Today I was at the gym and a man got on the treadmill next to me and started up a conversation about how God was nudging him to go back to church. I asked if he had a church and he said no - so I gave him the location and time my church meets and REALLY encouraged him to go, as we have similar denominations. He said he couldn't commit, as he didn't like to make commitments so that he wouldn't break them. I told him that if God is nudging you and you ignore Him, pretty soon you don't feel the nudge anymore or hear His voice.
Later a friend sent me a text asking me to meet her at church - so I did! Well at first, I was going to finish watching golf with my husband. (any excuse works when you are out of good habits.). Then I realized my talk with the guy on the treadmill wasn't about HIM getting to church. It was about high time I got back to community, love, service and obeying the call of God to enter conversations with new people who want to know Him.
Here is what happened. A new woman who wants to lead a bible study reconfirmed I would help her lead it. On a women's hike after church, there were 2 new girls who moved to Los Angeles last week who are looking for a group - AND THEY LIVE IN THE SAME APARTMENT COMPLEX as the girl who wants to start a group. (In L.A. we are spread out in about a 30 miles radius, and with traffic it is HARD to meet up with people if you don't live nearby).
I think they are all coming to my house for dinner Thursday. Yummy, healthy foods.