Friday, July 20, 2012
Well today is one of those days where my emotions are running every which way that I can't tell if I am coming or going. Part of me is excited about the Biggest Loser Challenge they are getting ready to start at my job and the other part is tired/exhausted and feeling really bummed. There are so many things I have to be thankful for but yet I feel like I am still missing something and I know that something is the feeling of happiness. Don't get me wrong I have a great husband, kids and grandkids, I have a job (I hate) but it pays the bills. I know that the number on the scales is part of what is keeping me from being happy. The struggle to get to that healthy weight. I try so hard sometimes just to fall backwards. Every time I have to look in the mirror I want to cry. I ask myself how did I get here, how did I allow myself to get this big. Well the oven timer is going off so I better wrap this up. Hope tomorrow brings me to a better feeling.