5 pounds lost...a lifetime of bad habits left to shed...

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Why do I crave such random food items at random hours? I'm not even hungry but I WANT.

Two nights ago, all I could think about were the fish sticks in the chest freezer downstairs. And I mean at 3 in the morning. I wanted the damn fish sticks! Thankfully, I fell asleep convincing myself I don't need nor want them, but it was trying. I couldn't get them out of my mind.

Last night the same thing...I remember my husband had a leftover fish taco in the fridge. It was my obsession. Maybe some nachos/cheese? (And I do mean the worse kind for you, the cheap huge bags from Sams Club and the giant tub o' processed cheese. Actually, I should just throw out the tub of cheese right now. Why did I buy it in the first place? Actually my husband asked that same question...ha.

I need to learn to get these thoughts OUT OF MY HEAD. But with all things, it is difficult to clear my head of thoughts...I need to get better at this as time goes by.

Right now, I realize that I have obtained my calorie goal for the day and I can force myself into not having something more knowing I want to get on the scale in the morning and not gain. (Yes, I know I shouldn't be weighing myself everyday, but right now it is a motivating factor and considering I never have motivation, well...I'm gonna stick with it for now.)

I know how to eat healthy, but I never track my food. Or my cravings. So the fact I have made it even 4 days seems like a big accomplishment to me, and it is truly opening my eyes. I might think I eat healthy, but I eat A LOT, and not fruit and veggies.

As for exercise? Well that has been a non-existent component in my life sadly. I spend an hour or more outside in my garden almost everyday but that doesn't count as exercise. It counts as living my life!

I ordered a new yoga mat last night and it should be here tomorrow. I have mentally committed myself to go to my friend's yoga studio for 70 minute classes M/W/F mornings at 9:30 am. I can do this because I'm not working. I'm blessed to be able to spend sometime out of the professional world with my husband and enjoy our married life, this means it MUST become my full-time job to make sure we are healthy and able to live our life...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    OH! And gardening does too count as exercise!! You are off the couch, yes? you are moving around and waging war on weeds or hauling water, or bending over and getting up over and over, yes?

    It's exercise!!!!
    2438 days ago
    Everyone is right. We learn our bad tricks over time- and we won't lose them without a lot of hard work and more time. I am a night eater as well- not only that, I am a sleepwalker, so sometimes I don't even know I am eating until I wake up with a half melted bowl of ice cream in my lap or a random strewing of pretzels around me. It sucks. A few years ago, I even made a grilled cheese sandwich one night! (Scared the CRUD out of my room mate at the time.)

    You can totally do this. I have been dieting or beating myself up over my weight since I was 9- I am 30 now. I keep having the feeling of impending doom that sooner or later I am going to give up on this Spark-thing and be more miserable than ever any time now... but a small voice in the back of my head is nagging me "you know, maybe you really CAN do this." And sometimes I smother that tiny hope with cookies, but more and more often I am listening to it.. and withstanding my despair and self-loathing. And the hope grows.

    YOU can do this. I can do this!
    And I'm glad to have found you to know we are doing this together!
    2438 days ago
    Thanks everyone!

    I gave in to those voices last night and had Triscuts/Cheese/Salsa not too bad, but it threw me off the path and I had a *screw it* day where I ate everything I would have normally (fried food, no veggies...) and it ALREADY makes me feel icky.

    BUT I've been tracking all week and notice it DOES make a difference, makes me feel more accountable. I felt sheepish plugging in the crap I ate today. :)
    2438 days ago
  • SLPORTER1978
    I have serious food issues at night also. Most nights I have to just go to bed or I think I will eat everything in the house! 4 days of consistency is wonderful - great job! And the fact that you resisted temptation is another WIN!!! It is really hard to remove our bad habits from our lives - it will not happen overnight, that's for sure. I noticed that you said you do not track your food intake. Tracking my food is what got me on the right track. The first couple of days of tracking my food, I did not change what I ate so that I could really see what I was eating and how it was affecting me. I was eating enough for two to three people a day - WOW! You can do this, keep up the good work, and remember you re not alone!

    2440 days ago
  • ZIGGY7611
    I think the fact that you managed to ignore that voice (as loud and persistent as it was), is something to celebrate!!! You didn't give in. That is no small thing...It's HUGE!!!! You are awesome! emoticon We didn't build our bad habits over night. We learned our 'bad tricks' over time. We will break our habits the same way - in time. All any of us can do, is take it one day at a time, and celebrate the good days! emoticon We can do it!!!! emoticon
    2440 days ago
    Hey Jen.... I still eat in the middle of the night at times, but not nearly as often. I am more likely to have a glass of water and call it good these days. Yay for your decision to get healthy! There are some great teams here on Spark. I recommend finding a couple and getting involved, because it really does make a difference when you have people to be accountable to/with. Best of luck on your journey!

    2440 days ago
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