100,000-149,999 SparkPoints 129,394

Sometimes it's all in your head

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Whenever I get down about things, I get little reminders at how it was..and how it could have been if I didn't get things under control when I did.

For example, when we went to Boston to visit my sister on, seriously, the hottest day of the entire year, we walked to the park around the corner and basically had to go up the biggest darned hill I have ever climbed since my youngest was barely walking. I remember that time because I was very heavy and could barely make it up that hill. So on this hill, as I climbed with very little trouble, I gave a bit of thanks to myself for getting help...and healthy...when I did.

But when you are all sweaty and wearing jean also get puffy...and bloated because of beer and chips...and I was starting to feel a bit down again when the boys left to go to another park when my sis said to me, "let's change into something cooler" and all I had brought with me were some cotton shorts (which I wound up wearing)....but she tossed me a pair of shorts she wore in college...and they fit me.

I did a happy dance inside on that one. #1 because they fit, #2 because I wasn't self conscious standing in my underwear in front of my sister (yup, self-imposed comfort zone issue rearing their ugly heads again) and #3 my mind always makes me bigger than I really am...and sometimes it's hard to judge yourself.

So after Boston, me & hubby got back on track and took off the beer bloat, but the humidity bloat is still hanging on like the dickens! I hate humidity!

We just went out last weekend to the outdoor mall here - big brand name stores that we rarely, if ever go into....mainly because of prices but also because of size. We - the both of us at one time - were big...WAY bigger than we are now. Well, now we get a kick out of going into these trendy stores to browse around and laugh that while we can fit into the clothes, we still aren't going to buy them ($250 jeans??? really?). I tried on a particular named brand jacket in a small and fairly fell over in shock. Really???? really? really. I could have sworn my arms were 3 times as big as that.

I have to constantly remind myself that things could be very different now if I didn't do something 4+ years ago. I have to constantly remind myself that the scale numbers are not 153 or 163 when I read 135 or 136.

Sometimes I wonder if my head would have been different if I knew what other gilrs weighed back when I was in junior high and high school.....maybe I would have not felt so down about myself if I had a reflected view of how I really looked and what 135 or 140 or 145 was among my peers....which, when you see pics, really wasn't that bad. I weighed in the upper 140s in highschool - horrible, right? yes, horrible when you think you are way bigger in your head and eat to console yourself....thus making it true and a reality in a few years.

Anyway....that's what I was thinking about lately...

Glad I found Spark .... glad I have a support system now....glad to be able to be heard and vent and get a reality check when I need to.

Stay cool everyone!
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    LOVING this blog, thank you for sharing!!
    3123 days ago
    GLAD you found SPARK and have made it work over all this time. GOOD WORK.

    3124 days ago
    yes it is all how you view it. look at it from many angles and it will look different from every one of them . emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3141 days ago
    Good Morning Sunshine!

    I'm glad you found Spark too! You've always been there for me and I have really enjoyed our friendship! It sure does make you feel better when you can wear that smaller size, for sure! I'm sure ya'll really had fun in that store....LOL.....I know what you mean about the prices!

    One of my favorite "shopping" places these days is consignment stores. I discovered them in Florida, and have continued my adventures here as well. Wednesday I went shopping to my fav down the street. I bought $50 worth of clothes, that still had tags on most of them for a total of 9 items! The one pair of jean capri's would have cost well over $50 in a regular store. And they all fit!!!!!!!! So I'm feeling pretty good myself!

    I know what you mean about this humidity Bloat......and it looks like it's going to be lingering around for a while longer. I'm up just a little on the scale, but I will be working hard this week to keep it under the 145 mark for the month of July! I'm blaming it on the humidity, but in reality I've had a little more ice cream, and a couple of burgers and fries....well fries once! But I know what I have to do, and how to do it....thanks to you, and Sparkpeople!

    Love ya!
    Donna emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3142 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/23/2012 7:16:48 AM
  • no profile photo CD6210994
    The small jacket and your sister's shorts would have made me so excited! You're doing great :)

    Thinking about highschool - I did know how much my friends weighed and though that because I weighed 20-30lbs more than them I was huge and gross - never taking into consideration that I was 5" or so taller than them. At 5'5", 95lbs is not good, but at 5'0" it's fine. At 16 or 17 I just could not wrap my head around that. Looking back at pictures of myself from then... I can't believe I thought I was fat! I'd do all sorts of terrible things (except, apparently exercise consistently... sigh) to be that little again.

    Using your peers' weights for comparison only works if you're similar in height.

    I get where you're at with the mind-body/weight disconnect. I think it's pretty common.
    3145 days ago
    You sound like you're doing so well!
    3146 days ago
    We're glad to have you with us! Have a great day!
    3146 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by ANNIEONLI