TWYLIGHTWUNDER

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Why do I HAVE to???

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Why Do I HAVE to Loose Weight?

This is a question that I’ve been thinking about.
Initially it was vanity. I was thinking that it’s because I wanted to be the person I was before Afghanistan. That if my physical body was the same that my mental health would be the same.
I need to focus on health, not VANITY. And understand that it’s a need, not a want, to loose weight.

2008


2012


Why is it a need? How did I finally come to this conclusion.
Well here’s the story of a week in the life of Constance (aka Twylightwunder).

Sat/Sun/Monday – was camping with the family. What did I do, threw a ball for the dog and watch the kids swim. What SHOULD have I been doing? Swimming with the kids and running with the dog.



Tuesday – went to the Science Centre, and dressed up with the kids once then sat and watched the kids play with all the experiments, I’m pretty sure we all know what I SHOULD have been doing….



Wednesday – went to a water park….. tried to swim in the deep pool and tread water and chase my son, but mostly stayed in the pool that I could stand in vs swimming.



Thursday – went golfing and thought “hey, lets walk instead of taking the cart”…. Luckily two of three kids were to hot/tired after 3 holes and we went back and waited for dad and eldest boy in the clubhouse.



Friday – Slept…… got nails done….. slept……
And that’s how I spent my Holidays last week. I know that most people would look at that and think I was very busy, but if you knew me you’d think that I’ve slowed down. There was a few attempts to work out (hooped for 10 min one day :D). However, I ate whatever I wanted, like two donuts a day, and drank all the tea (310 calories for how I drink one) I wanted.

Now the question though…. Why do I HAVE to loose weight, that’s this week. Went to my Dr (Psychologist) on Monday and got the results from my sleep study “Mild Sleep Apnea”. I stop breathing approx 8 times a night in my sleep. Why now? Because I’ve gained 50lbs in the past two years…. My body cant handle this extra weight and its causing me to stop breathing…. To add insult to injury I woke up this morning to an empty bed, because my snoring was so bad my husband couldn’t sleep in the same room as me. Because of my weight my health and my husband are suffering.

Additionally, my self image is shot, and my attitude sucks. My children are used to a fit and healthy women, but that’s not what they’re getting. Mentally and Physically I need to loose weight…. Mentally because working out is one of the best stress relievers and that’s a necessity when it comes to PTSD, and Physically so I can breath.

So what’s the solution?

Get off my fat ass and go to the gym.
Why don’t I?
I’m too lazy….
That’s it….
I have no excuse. I am now one of those people that I never used to understand. How can they be so over weight? How hard is it to go to the gym and not fill your face with Crap?
Well is used to be easy….
Now it seems impossible……
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CARLYDK85
    Being able to keep up with your kids can be a great motivator! My kids do simple exercises with me and it makes me try so much harder than when I'm alone!! You CAN do it!
    2679 days ago
  • MOSTMOM1
    Can you start a mini exercise streak and get your kids to help you stick to it? Could be fun...
    2679 days ago
  • no profile photo XHENA16
    C'mon Twylight... Let's do this thing, hon! You are hurting yourself with this talk... You are a beautiful person.. Be kind to yourself. I am just starting out.. Take my hand or take somebody's hand.. You CAN do it!!!
    2680 days ago
  • I*AM*BLESSED
    You have a beautiful family! You are still young and yes, it's not a simple task, but being young does make it a little easier. You CAN get back to your lower weight with the right attitude and it sounds to me like you have the hardest part behind you.

    Just remember how much fun you will have again being able to keep up with the kids!

    emoticon emoticon
    2681 days ago
  • CRYSTLE4HIMTX12
    Knowing that it is more than vanity ups the ante for losing the weight. You CAN so totally do this. You are unmotivated NOT lazy. There are things that brought you to this place and you work on getting those things in order so they do not hinder your walk. You ARE strong and beautiful and amazing. You have done some great and scary things in your life. LOVE you like you'd love Liz or even me. Support YOU. You ARE worth it!!!!!!! Look out world, Constance is coming back. emoticon
    2681 days ago
  • SNOWANGELDIVA
    Just as you slowly trained this stranger to seek solace and comfort in food, you can untrain the same way. One decision at a time focus on being healthy and the vanity will take care of itself as a bonus.
    Love you now.
    *F*O*C*U*S* ~ you have every right to care for yourself.
    emoticon
    2681 days ago
  • no profile photo MITCHARVEY
    Keep your chin up. As you start to eat healthy and exercise more the lazy demon will fly off your shoulder. Teh hardest part is getting back into that healthy routine. Good luck on your adventure today.
    2681 days ago
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