Why Do I HAVE to Loose Weight?
This is a question that I’ve been thinking about.
Initially it was vanity. I was thinking that it’s because I wanted to be the person I was before Afghanistan. That if my physical body was the same that my mental health would be the same.
I need to focus on health, not VANITY. And understand that it’s a need, not a want, to loose weight.
Why is it a need? How did I finally come to this conclusion.
Well here’s the story of a week in the life of Constance (aka Twylightwunder).
Sat/Sun/Monday – was camping with the family. What did I do, threw a ball for the dog and watch the kids swim. What SHOULD have I been doing? Swimming with the kids and running with the dog.
Tuesday – went to the Science Centre, and dressed up with the kids once then sat and watched the kids play with all the experiments, I’m pretty sure we all know what I SHOULD have been doing….
Wednesday – went to a water park….. tried to swim in the deep pool and tread water and chase my son, but mostly stayed in the pool that I could stand in vs swimming.
Thursday – went golfing and thought “hey, lets walk instead of taking the cart”…. Luckily two of three kids were to hot/tired after 3 holes and we went back and waited for dad and eldest boy in the clubhouse.
Friday – Slept…… got nails done….. slept……
And that’s how I spent my Holidays last week. I know that most people would look at that and think I was very busy, but if you knew me you’d think that I’ve slowed down. There was a few attempts to work out (hooped for 10 min one day :D). However, I ate whatever I wanted, like two donuts a day, and drank all the tea (310 calories for how I drink one) I wanted.
Now the question though…. Why do I HAVE to loose weight, that’s this week. Went to my Dr (Psychologist) on Monday and got the results from my sleep study “Mild Sleep Apnea”. I stop breathing approx 8 times a night in my sleep. Why now? Because I’ve gained 50lbs in the past two years…. My body cant handle this extra weight and its causing me to stop breathing…. To add insult to injury I woke up this morning to an empty bed, because my snoring was so bad my husband couldn’t sleep in the same room as me. Because of my weight my health and my husband are suffering.
Additionally, my self image is shot, and my attitude sucks. My children are used to a fit and healthy women, but that’s not what they’re getting. Mentally and Physically I need to loose weight…. Mentally because working out is one of the best stress relievers and that’s a necessity when it comes to PTSD, and Physically so I can breath.
So what’s the solution?
Get off my fat ass and go to the gym.
Why don’t I?
I’m too lazy….
I have no excuse. I am now one of those people that I never used to understand. How can they be so over weight? How hard is it to go to the gym and not fill your face with Crap?
Well is used to be easy….
Now it seems impossible……