This feels awfully familiar...

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

This is really hard to admit, and I'd probably much rather keep it to myself, but I need to get it out of me and out there in some way.

Two years ago, I was 150 pounds, the lowest body weight I've ever been. Now, I'm 220 pounds, right where I started from on my last attempt. In two years, I've gained 70 pounds. It goes without saying, but that's an awful lot of weight.

About two years ago, I injured my knee and spent almost three months barely able to leave my room. It was very difficult for me to get back into a workout habit, especially if my knee flared up again if I worked just a little too hard. My diet started slacking, my activity plummeted, my clothes started to get too tight, and my self-esteem all but disappeared.

I keep telling myself that I can do this a second time, but it's a daunting thought. I didn't have to deal with the idea that I gained all the weight back--that I "failed"--the first time.

But these last two years are NOT solely defined by all the weight I gained. My one-year marriage anniversary is next Saturday (and I still have great stories about wearing my wedding dress on a public bus). I gained a second family who I'm so lucky to be so close to, even if they're so far away. I faced my fears of travelling alone. I started college, and am very pleased with my 3.76 GPA. I made a small group of close friends, and reconnected with old ones. I learned some Mandarin (去年, 我在学༉
语!) I read more books in the last year than I might have for my entire life. I have a spouse, parents, friends, in-laws, and a dog who all want me to succeed (the dog can perceive the happiness in my success, at least).

I didn't fail; this is just a bump in the road.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sorry to hear about the setback. It sounds like you have a good perspective. We must continue to get up no matter how many times we fall down. I'm at my goal weight now and am continuing to count calories (albeit less strictly) so that I can stay there. It feels so good. I pray that you'll reach your goal again soon. But don't be impatient. Slow and steady truly does win this race. Stay on track and build those good habits into your life.
    2114 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/10/2012 11:48:45 AM
  • BRANDY332
    I do understand. I have been eating small meals every three hours and I have been losing weight but if i eat three meals I gain weight. I have no support at home and under stress but I keep going.
    2114 days ago
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