I'm back! Again...

I used to be so into this site, and it helped me lose 60 lbs! I've tried a few times to get back into it, but haven't been sucessful. Here I am trying again. I was thinking about deleting this account and starting fresh, but don't want to lose my past either... we'll see.

I went to a amusement park with friends and my boyfriend yesterday and the second ride we go on... I don't fit. I wanted to die. The person working the ride was trying to push down on the secruity bar so hard and trying to click the buckle in... It was so embarrassing in front of all my friends and my boyfriend I wanted to die. He tried several times till I just said stop I don't want to ride let me off. Worst day ever. No one said anything about it the rest of the day, and I just said I was to scared to go on the other rides, but to make the whole situation worse everyone was mad that I wasn't going on any more rides and kept giving me a hard time calling me a downer and such... I just wanted to scream out I'M TO FAT TO FIT OKAY!! Ugh what a frustrating day.

Anyhow, I'm Amy I just turned 27 and I live near Chicago. I've been dating the love of my life for 2 and a half years. I have a daughter, she's almost 7. I work at Ulta, been there for 6 and a half years and have the cutest fluffy white dog named Pauly D (yes my bf named him after Jersey Shore). My weight fluctuates EVERYDAY (or maybe it's just my cheapy scale lol) I go between 275 and 279. I've never weighed this much, even when I was pregnant my highest was 260. I don't know how this happened but here we are. I've successfully lost 60 pounds before (a little after my daughter was born) but I used diet pills, phentermine, I've never lost weight on my own. I'm scared, I don't know if I can do it on my own...