A confession

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Hi, my name is Lacey, and I haven't worked out in over 2 weeks. What started as a "little break" "just an extra day or two to get stuff done" turned into, well.. 2 weeks. What it comes down to is this, I work way better (when it comes to working out anyway) with a set schedule, time to myself and no rush to "get it done NOW!" What first threw my off my course was my bf's change in schedule. When I would get home from work I'd have a few hours to myself to clean up, work out, start dinner, before he would come home. First he lost his job, which sucked but has since started a new job that he enjoys better. When he was briefly unemployed we worked out a bit of a schedule, he found other things to do when I took over the TV to work out. Once he started his new job, we would get home at the same time basically, and that's when the excuses started. Things came up, I would make excuses, I didn't like working out in front of him, the few times I did I felt gross and unattractive and couldn't help but feel like he was watching me, judging me. I mean, things were jiggling that no one should ever see. I know it's not true, but this is my brain talking here and you'd be amazed at the way it works sometimes. Hello therapy? Anyways, then came a trip home to Seattle, I took a few days off the week before to get stuff done before my trip and it turned into a week before my trip. I justified this by riding my bike to work all week, so it wasn't a TOTAL loss. Then the trip itself... I was in town for approximately 5 days and had so much on my plate and then forgot to bring my workout shoes, it was a complete lost cause. I spent the next 3 days after that road tripping from Seattle to Chicago, which I must say was amazing and I had a great time, a dear friend rode with me. We tried to eat smart, but let's face it, it's a road trip. THEN after we arrived in Chicago I got to play tour guide and host for 3 days, which mean, more bad food, drinks, late nights, all horrible things for a diet. Yesterday was my first day back at work in a week, and after a long week prior all I did was relax, it was amazing.

So here I am. I feel like a failure when it comes to Insanity. I feel like part of the reason I was able to talk myself out of working out is because I was kind of burnt out. The workout is GREAT and I really see myself doing it again sometime but I think I'm going to change it up for at least a month and I've learned that I really need to work on getting my eating on track. The nibbles here and there add up and I don't think I'm as good at calculating things in my head as I tell myself I am. Long story short, I fell off the wagon, but I refuse to let it out of my sight, it's time to come up with a new plan and start from the beginning.. again.

Oh, one quick, slightly depressing note. I finally weighed myself on a scale when I was out of town, according to it I GAINED WEIGHT. I realize that it has to be some muscle I built through insanity, because there are inches lost, but still, how disappointing.
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