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REALLY struggling.....

Monday, June 25, 2012

Its been a while since ive been really active on SP. I started 1/13/11. I lost 35 lbs, and now ive gained them all back since then. I have always been able to start a healthy eating plan, just never stick to it past 3 months or so. But since falling off, I have found I cannot start for the LIFE of me. I dont know why, and I dont know whats going on with me. I am so depressed about my weight. I look at myself and dont recognize who ive become, mind you i have ALWAYS been overweight, however, not as big as I am now. I cant do many things that are so small to others (tying shoes, ride a bike, etc) due to my weight or fears associated with my weight. I have never before thought of the possibility of surgery, until lately ( last 2 weeks). I used to think I am too young, I know what to do to lose the weight. I used to also say, if I ever got diagnosed with diabetes that would be my wake up call, well I go diagnosed prediabetic. I was so depressed by this, however, I have not been able to scare myself straight. I know what I need to do, I have the foundation, however, its the organization of it all and the ACTION of it, that I do not have. I just keep thinking....when? when is it going to happen? when am I going to lose the weight? I just need help. I hope I can slowly start doing this again. I am starting with tracking. This is the hardest on the weekends :( I overeat every weekend. I hope this is the time.
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    It really is a hard process to begin, but once it becomes a habit to involve fitness and eat healthier foods at the correct portion sizes, it is so easy after that. Granted, there are times that all of us fall down, but we get back up again, dust off our bottoms, and get right back on track. I'll be praying for you. If you ever need someone to talk to, spark mail me. I'll try to be a wonderful motivator for you.
    2131 days ago
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