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Re-imagining Myself

Saturday, June 23, 2012

My journey before SparkPeople...

1976-1996: I was so thin in my youth that my family used to pick on me for being "skin & bones"

1987-1996: At the same time I always though I was FAT because I wore a size 3 and my best friend wore a 1

1995-1997: Gained 20 pounds in the first 2 years of college, reaching 145

1998: Spent 6 months in Mexico and then Scotland, losing 15 of the said 20 pounds; down to 130

1999: Went back to the USA and got into an abusive relationship, gaining 50 pounds in one year; 182 pounds

2001: Left that relationship and went to Europe for a Masters Degree, where I started walking and cooking for myself, losing 35 pounds in one year; 145 pounds

2002: Departed my Masters Program when my teenage step-brother was shot and killed, coming home to the comfort of take-out food

2002-2005: Finished my degree by correspondence and then got a series of desk jobs and spent thousands of dollars on take-out over the next 2 years, eventually ballooning to 210 pounds on my 5-foot frame!

2007: Met the love of my life who introduced me to vegetarianism, after which I lost 50 pounds in 6 months

2008: Plateaued at 160, unable to lose more weight on diet changes alone...I hate exercising

2010: Temporarily went gluten-free before my wedding and my skin cleared up beautifully

2011: Got pregnant 6 months after my wedding and managed to walk an hour a day for the first 5 months, which slowed the weight gain

2011: At the 6-month pregnancy mark it all went out the window, childhood comfort cravings had me abandon vegetarianism and bodily discomfort planted me on the couch for most of the remainder of my pregnancy

2011: We had a traumatic 51 hour labor and numerous breastfeeding set-backs, post partum depression effected me badly and the take-out window became my friend again

2012: Now baby is 8-months old, we are done breastfeeding, I weigh 184 pounds and I need to find more happiness, good health, energy and self-discipline in order to be a better Mom and a sexy wife


So, I am now eating under 1600 calories every day, walking for 2 hours, 3-4 days a week and doing a 79-Day Fitness Challenge workout 3 times a week using Fitocracy to track my progress.

It is difficult, always getting myself onto the mat for my workout, finding time and energy with baby needing me constantly, but so far I am on day 9 and have managed to keep going!

I don't see any results yet. I am still hungry all the time and tired all the time, but my husband says that parts of me are beginning to look "tighter." I hope that's true because this journey is, so far, very very HARD to keep on.

For my family, for my career and for my self-esteem I must keep going!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You have gotten some great advice already, and I hope you take it to heart. It's so hard to change mindset regarding food & exercise. Amanda's advice to not follow a plan you won't follow for the rest of your life is key. Small changes and the little decision DO add up over time. We just must have the patience and perseverence to keep picking ourselves back up and keep going. You can do it!!! Look forward to more blogs and updates on GGs. emoticon
    2131 days ago
    I am leading a Wellness activity at work, and we are exploring the Full Plate Diet. (They have a book available through many libraries & as a free download on their website, I think.) The hook is "Are You Eating Enough to Lose Weight?" They encourage adding natural, fiber-rich foods to what you already eat, there are no taboo foods, nor "you must eat or do this." It makes sense, and doesn't require you to deprive yourself.

    I heard a great piece of advice here on Spark People, which I frequently pass on: Don't do anything to lose weight that you aren't willing to do for the rest of your life. If it's too hard, why would you want to do it forever? I lost 65 pounds, 30% of my original body weight, over about 20 months, and it wasn't hard. I'm not saying it was easy, but it was neither laborious nor odious. It was a matter of making small consistent changes (that I can live with) over time.

    I do hope you find the right path for you that promotes lifelong well-being.

    Blessed Be, Amanda emoticon
    2132 days ago
    If you are still hungry, you are not eating enough. I had to learn this too. I hit a plateau and dropped my calories by 50 a day, but started gaining. I then increased my calories by the 50 I dropped and an additional 50 a day and lost 4 lbs in 5 days. It goes against are mind-set, but you do have to eat to loose weight. Who would have thought, lol. I did battle an eating disorder in my youth and understand your struggle intimately. I hope this helps.
    2132 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.