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Thursday, June 21, 2012

So the brother came by yesterday - he was out with the girlfriends motorbike and thought it suitable to stop by... he is going to retire this autmn but spent the time complaining about a colleague at work that lies a lot and how my borther can´t stand this. I should know better than to argue, but said that I do understand what makes people lie a lot, not that it is excusable, but I can understand... but the thing with my borther is that this has been the story always. Every employment he had has gone well for a while and then there is always really stupid persons around that does not behave. And when we meet the main issue is to tell the long boring stories about the conduct of these morons... and I don´t know what to say, I start with discussing until I understand that he does not want my opinions then I fall back and become quet and ...bored.

But then the borther started to ask about my daughter and ended up telling me that we - her father and I - should not burden the poor kid with not being able to communicate, and then he left.

And I cried all evening. I am accusingmyself enough, nobody else has to do it. Further more the daughter texted and asked me to call and this I did. And realised that she is not going to come to me in yet another year, maybe never. This is hard to endure.

So I am off to fix my car, I have a press coiference before lunch and then I will clean my house for a while - did not realise that it is midsummer eve this weekend already - big celebration in Sweden, that is.... and I have no plans and just want to crawl in a hole...
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  • SILLYHP1953
    Some people dump all the negative energy on other people, and obviously your brother is one of them. It is difficult to learn that concept of "detachment with love". It took me a long time to learn it and still have problems with it, especially with family members. I forget who is credited with saying this, but it has helped me get through some tough situations, "What you think of me is none of my business".
    2707 days ago
    Oh my gosh! I'm going to start calling you sister! My brother will be visiting for the weekend and he always manages to come up with suggestions to fix "me"! I come back at him a little more now letting him know that "I'm happy" and old enough (I guess!) to make my own decisions. When he goes off on things that might "spark" me (not in a healthy way) my stock comment has become "You might be right!". He's caught on and it irritates the heck out of him but he can't argue it and shuts up for awhile. But, I love him!

    That said, I'm sorry your feeling blue. Stay busy, you are, and this will pass. When I was in more of an emotionally roller coastser world I'd even chart those dark days on a calendar. It helped as they rarely lasted more than 3 days. Remember too that a good cry is cleansing. Be well. Hugs, Joy
    2728 days ago
    Family is a strange thing. They know how to push our buttons because they installed them themselves.

    I have learned for my own sanity to have very limited contact with my family. I live 80 miles away from them and this has been a godsend for my sanity.

    I am sorry you feel bad. Your brother's actions were boorish at best.
    Your daughter will come to you in her own time. Sometimes we have to let relationships work themselves into the good things that they are truly meant to be, and there is no rushing it.

    Have a better day, honey.
    2728 days ago
    So sorry you are feeling bad, but I do feel it is wonderful that you can use SP to espress yourself and get some support.

    I will echo what others have said--family is sometimes incredibly damaging and hurtful, we have to go inside ourselves and see our own value.....

    You are in my thoughts.

    2728 days ago
  • CAMAEL100
    Don't take on your brother's issues. They are his and his alone! No-body wants to listen to someone who constantly thinks everyone is wrong except themselves (I know one of those too).

    I am wondering why you think your daughter won't come to you in a year? Is this because of what your brother said? If someone doesn't listen to what you have to say, they can't claim to know anything about you or your relationships. Keep the lines of communication open with your daughter.

    You don't sound to me like you have 'communication problems'. You have just expressed yourself very well!!
    2728 days ago

    Wishing better times for you.
    2728 days ago
    Where does your daughter live?

    and siblings can be something like a nightmare. You like them, they are family, but sometimes you wouldn't choose them as a friend ...


    2728 days ago
    How old is your daughter and where does she live? Hugs!
    2728 days ago
    Oh, Meddy, I wish I lived close enough to sit down with you and listen and share some coffee and whatever. So sorry that you're in a bad place right now...
    2728 days ago
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