No Excuses

Sunday, June 17, 2012

I have started and restarted and restarted again on Spark a number of times, and the last time I did this, I updated my goal weight time frame. As you can see by the picture, I'm not where I should be by this time. In fact, I am back to where I started two years ago. When I weighed in last week, I was at a resounding 208.4lbs...I started to track my food, but it was quite lackadaisical, and it wasn't until the other day that I really buckled down and tracked everything that I put in my mouth. Too little too late...I stepped back on the scale today, for my weekly weigh in-209.2lbs. How disappointing, not the number so much as how I let get that bad. A year ago I was in ONEderland, and I vowed I would never leave it again, so why did I? Was I that weak, did I really lack that much willpower...the short answer is yes...but the truth is, I knew my eating habits were bad, and I knew I didn't like the way I looked, but if there was an excuse to be made, I had it. I was all over the "just one donut, that's all I need to kick this sweet tooth" (3 donuts later), and the "I didn't eat much today, so I can have a heaping second serving of that pasta for dinner", and then there was the ever popular "we need to get rid of the ice cream in the freezer, before we can try to lose weight"...and those were just the food excuses. I had a whole other set ready to go for not working out, and I still do.

Since this most recent restart of Spark is all about holding myself accountable, I am posting pictures of myself that I don't want anyone to ever see, including myself...ever again. I guarantee they won't be pretty, but they will be honest. The following picture is me, today, at 209.2lbs (and if you choose not to look, I won't be offended).

If you're still reading this, after seeing that, thanks for the support...it's what I need most right now. As I stated above, I'm still having issues with the workout excuses. I claim that I lack the motivation, but what it really boils down to is, I'm lazy. I have every opportunity to jump on the treadmill and walk while I watch tv, but instead, it just sits there, unoccupied while I veg out on the couch. When I go to the pool, I convince myself that I will do some laps before I get out, but then I end up laying on the raft and soaking up the sun. I am the definition of procrastination...I will always put off today what I can avoid tomorrow and push to next week. But...I'm getting better-I'm asking for help (which I hate to do), and I'm reaching out for support. Unlike most people, I thrive on negative support though, if I hear an insult about my size, it makes me want to work harder to never hear it again. To everyone out in Sparkland, feel free to say anything you like to get me off my ass, I'm still searching for my inner motivation, but until I find it, I'm looking for help. I finally held myself accountable to stop the excuses, and I'm finally ready to shed these pounds, and never look back again. Stay tuned for my updated progress.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow, did I write this? I have the exact same excuses and have gained back all that I've lost with Sparkpeople. I don't thrive on negative comments though, they make me cry. lol I love the competition.
    2458 days ago
  • DANE02
    You can do it...focus on one day at a time! The past is...well in the past. We all have good days and bad days, which for me some times turn into weeks. Wish you all the best and much success in July
    2458 days ago
  • NESSVA2013
    im here for you dear im having issues my self trying to get motivated to work out or eat better but its hard and you can do it girl ill be your diet bride buddy through this :) emoticon
    2464 days ago
    Health is a lifetime program...and the thing I like about sP is that it is the home you can come back to.
    2466 days ago
    It is clear you dont lack courage, now use it to your true advantage!

    I think your blog says it all -NO MORE EXCUSES!!! Now get up and get moving!!!!

    Your not alone in this, if it were easy everyone would be healthy and slim. But you are the ONLY one who can get you off the couch - NOW GO RIGHT NOW AND GET ON THE TREADMILL!!!!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2467 days ago
    Well done on your attitude. Best of luck with setting the plan in motion. Baby steps, but always keep moving... emoticon
    2467 days ago
    I love your story and I have so much faith that you can do it! I'm RIGHT there with you on 'being lazy' ... motivation is the hardest part - but have faith that you CAN do it and it IS worth it.
    2467 days ago
    Hi Loni - great meeting you tonight! This is a really good blog - very motivating! I have been getting back into the habit of a glass, or two...of wine at night and I am knocking it off. You are right - no more excuses! We're in this together!
    2468 days ago
  • AAIEE1985
    you got this! you are a beautiful amazing women! you are soooo strong for posting pictures use that to your advantage. you will feel soooo much better if you just get up and do what you need to do.
    2468 days ago
    Great Blog! Now get your Hiney up and exercise!! No more excuses!!!


    (MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT!!!!!!) emoticon
    2468 days ago
  • _MOBII_
    You said it right there at the end of your post "I finally held myself accountable to stop the excuses, and I'm finally ready to shed these pounds, and never look back again."

    You can do it and congrats on your wedding!!!!

    2469 days ago
    Took guts to post pictures...no pun intended...proud of the courage and looking forward to helping along the way. Love ya!
    2472 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.