The Pastor's Ass
Monday, June 11, 2012
The Pastor's Ass
The Pastor of a small Catholic Church found a baby donkey wandering down the lane leading to the church one day and the little fellow was braying as only a young Jackass can do. The Pastor looked around and could find no evidence of the little donkey’s mother. He thought the little fellow was hungry, so he led him the back of the church where they had a couple of goats, milked the goats and fed the baby donkey the milk.
The little donkey grew and grew, and before long everyone in the little church was bringing treats for the donkey. After a few weeks, the donkey let a little boy ride him, and soon all the children of the parish were riding him on Sunday’s after church.
One of the older boys kicked him the ribs one day, and the ass (not so little now) took out across the field, running as hard as he could. He was so fast they named him ‘Flash’.
The members of the parish talked the Pastor into entering his donkey in a race - and it won.
The local newspaper, sensing a great Human Interest story posted a column the next that read:
PASTOR PUTS ASS ON LINE
Everyone in the Parish was so pleased with the donkey’s performance that they talked the Pastor into entering it in the race the next weekend at the county fair, and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey, so the Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This stunned the Bishop, so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was buried three days later.
This is another from my friend. When I read it, I LMAssO