Learning to Let Go
Monday, June 11, 2012
Whew! What an awesome weekend!
Movie on Friday, street festival, shopping & cooking on Saturday, and time spent with family on Sunday. Can't get better than that.
(I'm going to free-flow here, so go with it, yeah?) :-P
Anyway, I was mulling a few things over this weekend and there is a theme I've noticed. People who seek to change, really change, treat their emotions like children - they allow them a certain amount of freedom, but keep an eye on them lest they get out of control.
Sometimes, older emotions are a bit unruly or have gone completely amok. Instead of throwing their hands up and saying, "There's nothing I can do," they go out, grab that outburst by the arm, apologize to those who were affected, look those emotions in the metaphorical eye and ask, "Now why did you do that?"
An immature response is, "because so-and-so made me." Mad, sad, unhappy, disappointed - the action was to blame, not the reaction. Sound familiar? Go to your room!
The more mature reaction could be, "I don't know" or "I forgot" or "I was upset." Taking responsibility, slowly but surely, understanding - not they, but I. Here, it's easier to have a mental conversation about what you could have done differently and think about how to adapt and react the next time your emotions throw a tantrum.
The process of continual maturity should never stop, should it? Many feelings are super-painful, so we tamp them down, stuff them into mental shoeboxes, hodgepodge them together with ill-begotten "lessons" and habits and man, this attic is really crowded, dusty and disorganized!!!! If something falls off the shelf, it's gonna make a mess...
I say this because this process of mental housekeeping is a theme that comes up over and over again on Spark, described in many different ways. Working through issues that have accumulated over a lifetime takes work - lots of work. And, it can be hard to put that finger-pointing little kid to bed. (He or she always wants a glass of water just as you are starting to relax, right?)
Going through those mental shoeboxes, sorting them before they explode - what to do when a family gathering can throw off a week of great eating? How to deal with a poor showing after a much-anticipated race? When weight loss plateaus or the scale starts to inch up again? Why a throw-away comment from a friend makes you want to eat a pint of ice cream...and what you're going to do about it.
Happy free-association Monday, everyone!