Long Time, No See

Saturday, June 09, 2012

it's been a while since I've been around... mostly due in part to really bad internet. but also, since starting the meds, I notice I don't worry as much about food making me fat anymore. so my doctor thinks the "eating disorder" was just a symptom of my depression. every once in a while though, I screw up something, and think to punish myself by starving, but I shake myself back to my senses. I do have to admit though that gaining 4 pounds in a month and a half really bothers me...

work has been going well. I like all the girls, and have gotten relatively confident in my abilities. I'm still far too shy, and my joints start killing me way too early in the day. I only wish I were allowed to sit sometimes. the actual work is exhausting, but standing there all day just hoping for customers saps me of any real energy.

I've been sick the last few days with a cold... thankfully I have many days off, but I lost 2.5 hours pay yesterday, coming home early. while it was busy, I was able to keep my mind off my misery, but when it wasn't, my throat killed me. I've started physical therapy for my joint pains and am going to a neurologist next week to see if there's a genetic issue affecting me.

I've still been working on things with the "ex" but... it's difficult. he doesn't want a commitment right now. yeah, that makes me roll my eyes too. if I didn't love him... I wouldn't put up with it, but the fact of the matter is, I do, and he's what I want and will make me happy.
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