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My Own Worst Enemy

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

It never ceases to amaze me how I view myself vs how others view me.

Case in point:

I haven't blogged about my half marathon because quite honestly I was ashamed. I was so looking forward to this event. I had done pretty well with training. I had talked my friends into signing up. It was going to be great. Well about a month or so before the half my plantar fasciatis kicked in again. But it didn't hurt on the walks only afterwards. I kept thinking it would hold off. Well it didn't.

On the day of the race I woke up and my foot was pretty tight. I did some stretching and just kept thinking it's only got to hold out one more day. Well it didn't agree. Miles 1-5 were great, Miles 5-9 were uncomfortable, Miles 9-13.1 were extremely painful. If a cab had driven by I probably would have asked for a ride... well probably not, but close. It sucked! So the bottom line is I did finish, I was slow, but I finished within the timeframe allowed, with 10 minutes to spare. I only finished 18 minutes after my friends whom I had walked with until mile 9. So why have I been looking at this as a failure? Everyone I talk to compliments me for having completed it at all.

Tonight I went into a Good Feet store to talk to them about orthotics just on a whim, had never even heard of the store. But I'm so tired of being in pain. Ever since the walk the pain has basically been a 24 hour event. So the salespeople and i were talking and the half came up and the salesman was like and you had PF during? And you finished? Wow you are a rockstar!

Why can't I feel that way??? Well I don't know how saying any of this is going to do that. I just wanted to put it down so that maybe I can start seeing myself how others do. I know how ridiculous it is to not realize I did a freaking Half Marathon. ME, who on November 19th, 2009 was a 1.5 pack a day smoker who weighed 253 lbs and who NEVER exercised, walked a HALF MARATHON.

I'm a damn rock star.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think it's naturally inherent that we down play our achievements to not sound too braggart or boastful. After I finished my marathon I just kept saying "anyone can do this or I'm nothing special" I am still more proud of my half this past fall in Dayton. I had to walk the last 5+ miles due to lack of training. Cramping was so bad, but I kept pushing on to finish.

    Those are the moments that define greatness!

    Rock on!
    2200 days ago
    You ARE a damn ROCKSTAR! You did a freaking half marathon - you FINISHED a freaking half marathon, like you said - coming from the bottom up and with all of the physical and mental challenges that entails. You know how many people go through life and doubt themselves so much they never even TRY a 5k, let alone a half freaking marathon?! You DO rock, so be proud of yourself, pretty please!!!!!
    2202 days ago
  • RYANB1982
    2202 days ago
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