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I am greater than chocolate mousse.

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

So as I announced last week, it was my birthday. I turned 32 on 5/30. I don't "feel" 32, whatever that means. I don't feel like anything, honestly. I only feel "old" when someone younger makes a remark about how I am not *that* old or something like that. Um yea, I am *that* old, as old as I am. You can probably tell that I have mixed feelings.

For my birthday I ate a lot of fruit salad. I specifically requested no cake. Chocolate mousse is my favorite (since I was a little girl). I don't regret not having cake. It's not like the world will run out of cake while I work on my weight loss goals. And... even if it did, I've had a LOT of cake in these 32 years (as evidenced by the fact that I even HAVE weight loss goals). I am truly grateful that my loved ones respected my request. My sister had a pretty store-bought fruit salad waiting for me at work that day, and my sweetheart made me one for when I got home, he even stuck candles in the watermelon. It was really adorable.

Today I got up earlier than usual, and earlier than I thought would be possible. I got up at the ungodly hour of 8:15 am. And I made myself a protein shake, and got my sweats on. Even my honey got up. And we took our butts to the gym. And I got there (early!) for the 9:30 Ballet Burn class. It kicked my butt. I thought for sure I was going to die during one of those pilates moves (ok, most of them), or that one of my legs would just snap off. I sweat bullets. I wanted to cry. But I didn't give up and I made it through the class. Afterwards, I kind of wanted to puke. I was even a little proud of myself.

I have always considered my legs my biggest "problem area". I haven't worn legitimate shorts in public since I was 15 probably. That's 17 years of thinking my thighs were too fat for shorts. With the middle riding up all the time, making them look more like undies or a swim bottom... I have been too embarrassed to go outside in shorts. So I am committing to working on my legs. Just because I don't love them right now doesn't mean I can never love them. It doesn't mean my thighs are destined to be bulbous and jiggly. Some cardio and some solid leg work should help shape them. I refuse to believe that they are just "fat", especially if I haven't even attempted to improve them.

I hope to take this class, or other leg strengthening classes, twice a week. Other than that I plan to walk or run or hit the gym once or twice otherwise. That is 3-4 days/week. I don't think that is particularly ambitious but I am trying to take it slow, not bite off more than I can chew.

Slowly, I am getting better at being good to myself.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sounds like the legs will be looking like fire if you keep taking classes like that. As you well know, my battle is with my thighs and I want them rock hard so I am working hard to get there. It is wonderful when you can celebrate with family and have them honor your wishes to be healthier. I ate badly on mine and just burned it off with Killian. I am 37 and I don't feel a bit more older than I did the day before I turned 37 so it is all in the mind. I keep waiting for this women age depression thing to set in evry year and it hasn't . Last year, I came to the conclusion that getting older isn't bad if you are getting better in other areas of yoru life and still accomplishing things in life while living it vigorously instead of just sleeping through it. So heres to us being older but not looking it and towards next years goal of hot legs for you and toned thighs for me...Come on lady, lets get some! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2447 days ago
    The second-best thing (after the work you're already doing) to do to tone your legs is walk and stand up as much as you can. Your family might think it's weird to watch part of a tv show while standing up but it helps.
    2447 days ago
  • JLITT62
    Look at it this way . . . from 50, 32 looks really young!

    And sleep in til 8:15? I couldn't sleep that late to save my soul!

    It's all in how you look at.

    Happy birthday! I STILL think birthdays should be celebrated.
    2447 days ago
  • KATD13
    Fruit salad is a yummy birthday treat. Hope your birthday was great.
    I remember turning 30 & crying my eyes out. It was very depressing to be so old. Ha, what I wouldn't give to be 30 something now. But I feel like I'm still in my 20's so I guess that's good.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2448 days ago
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