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Why are people so petty?

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

I'm astonished at how petty, small minded, and even cruel people can be.

My beloved MIL died almost 2 weeks ago. The family has been preparing for her memorial service, and beginning the details of settling her estate. My SIL has decided that, as the eldest sibling, she is in charge of all arrangements.

Last week, she sent out a note to my husband and brother-in-law, asking if there was anything specific that each of them wanted from among my MIL's effects. My husband provided a small list, mainly some family photographs that he had printed, matted and framed for his mum, and a few other small items that have only sentimental value, and only to him.

Husband went to MIL's house to collect the photos and other items last night, only to find every last one of them gone. SIL had packed them all up and taken them away to her own house, three hours away.

There are many family photos other than these ones, and these are pictures of MIL with our children. I can't imagine why anyone else would want them, and we can have copies printed for anyone who does.

I can't think of any reason she would do this other than mean-spiritedness. I can't even muster up any anger over it -- I'm just tired, and disappointed that SIL thinks getting her own way is so important that she's willing to cause such hurt over something so insignificant. It wasn't even that she said she also wanted the items. She and BIL agreed that Husband could have them, and then she spirited them away.

What's wrong with people?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Know what you are going through - going through the same things with my brothers estate emoticon emoticon
    2143 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/7/2012 9:18:31 AM
    Sorry you have to go through this. Grief does strange things to people. Hang in there and eventually you will have the chance to get the things you want. Just wait until the dust settles a bit. Maybe they can be sent? Good luck and I'm very sorry for your loss.
    2144 days ago
    Your S-I-L sounds a little "OFF THE WALL" to me! WHY would she bother asking people what they wanted, only to pack everything up on the list? Did she take things the B-I-L asked for, too? She also sounds a little CONTROLLING. If you haven't had the memorial service yet, ask her to bring the photos & other requested items with her. I agree EVERYONE "grieves" in their own way; but one shouldn't be hateful & hurtful to others who are grieving at the same time!

    May your M-I- L REST N PEACE!
    2144 days ago
    Happens so often and I agree...just ridiculous to be so petty. Hopefully your hubby can get those photos at some point.

    2144 days ago

    Husband did speak to SIL about it. Her response was something along the lines of, "Well it's not as if they're on Mars. You can always come here and get them."

    MIL lived 20 minutes away from us. SIL lives more than 3 hours away, in a remote county that's a bit difficult to get to. There's quite a bit of family history underlying this, but when MIL passed, Husband had a long talk with SIL and they agreed that they would put it all behind them and get past it.

    This doesn't seem much like "getting past it" to me. Mostly I'm sad that she's causing my husband so much pain, and pushing away the only people in the world who care about her.

    2144 days ago
    People do strange things when they are grieving. It happened why my grandmother passed as well. Why not call her and ask why she took them? Maybe she had a legitimate reason that was not spiteful and you could avoid being upset when you are already so stressed out? I hope she wouldn't be so disrespectful. I am very sorry to hear about you and your husband's loss.
    2144 days ago
    Some people have really small hearts and minds so that limits their capacity to care about others and to think sensibly when needed. You have to pray about this and let it go. Hopefully your husband is coping and has other photos of your dear MIL to reflect upon. Being mad at SIL will only make the grief more intense and the memories of MIL harder rather than sweeter. She will ultimately see that this was wrong and if she doesn't then she is the loser in this situation for I am sure your MIL wouldn't have wanted her to behave this way. Just keep the faith, comfort hubby and try to see past the mean spirits of others as you grieve. Sending hugs and positive energy your way. emoticon
    2144 days ago
    I'm sorry. That really stinks. : (
    2144 days ago
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