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What needs to change?

Monday, June 04, 2012

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Victor Frankl

The question of the day on the 30 days of summer speaks to what needs to change to make your goals come true... and for me I know what it is but achieving this change is easier said than done at times. Habits are not easy to break or change - but it can be done.

For me, recognizing my triggers (mostly boredom or routine). I had plans to do one thing yesterday and veered off course - ended up eating too much and had drinks again. It seems that my intention to allow 'one' cheat day only slips into to 2 and that's the pattern that I need to break. I'm not sure if it means avoiding the 'cheat' day all together for a while until I can establish more will to change my routine or simply finding things to distract me when I get bored and end up tempted... and cave in as I did yesterday.

My weight fluctuations when I do this are incredible - from yesterday to today 4lbs gained and I know it's some water weight - but it's so frustrating. From 158.5 to 162.5 this morning - back in 160Ville and I am so upset with myself!

So what needs to change?! This pattern is what needs to change if I am to make lasting progress on my journey to better health. The great debate about whether or not I can allow myself the 'give' is something I have to let go of I think for a while. The more I fight it, the more I rebel against it. MIMI - you remember the analogy you spoke of ... that struggle with the tug of war, the rope... and how just 'dropping it' is sometimes the solution?!

I think I need to shift my focus off the great debate and shift my focus on my end goal.

I am all for moderation versus deprivation - so as to not fall into binge cycles, but there's also a practice of establishing good habits which means practicing new routines for a period of time so they too become a new way of living.... This is what I will be focusing on.

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. ~Jim Ryun
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Funny....I have what you might call 'cheat days now' (i.e. I relax my habits slightly....but not full out, that's for sure!)

    ......but that's after nearly 3 years of maintenance....and I have to be honest, I am still REALLY careful every day about what I consume and how much exercise I get.

    When I was focused on the goal of losing the weight, I did NOT make any real progress until I stripped things down, put my blinders on, my head down and bloody well achieved the goal. Until I did that it was one step forward, 2 steps back....I would spend Monday through Thursday every week getting back to where I started, loosing the weekend water weight gain.

    Did I have to navigate special occasions? Yes, absolutely....but I, made big efforts to make sure they were few and far between and that I had a plan going in (do you remember the New Years Eve with the huge wine connoisseur who brought out bottle after bottle of truly fabulous wine....and I had one glass all night???).

    What if you were to take your next weight loss goal (sorry - can't remember what it is!), divided it by the lbs per week you want to lose, and set yourself a goal of being as spartan as possible for the 3 months period (or whatever it works out to) until you reach the next milestone?

    It may not be for everyone, but that's what worked for me.
    2205 days ago
    I like a cheat day but they always make me feel less than well the next day. so, now i have them less often than once a week. More like 2x a month - still allows for some socializing without me feeling awful. Sure we can make healthier choices, but sometimes you just want chicken wings!

    Balance is important too - life isn't only about romaine lettuce and carrots. There's also chocolate cake and garlic cheese toast!

    Good luck.
    2206 days ago
    It is all about experimenting and finding out what is right for you. If a cheat day turns into 2 then maybe the cheat day isn't for you. Personally I have a small treat everyday, and that stops me cheating because I am never deprived and I know I'll be having another treat the next day.

    Good luck, I am sure you will find what is right for you!
    2206 days ago
    Oh, I am not a huge fan of Dr. Phil's, but I DO love that question, "So, how's that working for you?" If the answer is that it isn't, it simply IS time to change.

    I used to "need" a cheat day, but found out that is just totally WAS NOT worth the grief in terms of weight gain and just feeling lousy. So, I gave that up. I don't miss it one bit! I did initially, but now it's a habit, so no problem-o. It DOES take time, but you can do it.
    2206 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2207 days ago
    You are doing great! It's only June 4th - you're working it girl and you'll get to your goal for this month!
    2207 days ago
    I find the majority that have this "lifestyle" change down pat, say that they no longer want the cheat days, or the junk or alcohol. I found when I was doing my primal wholeheartedly, I too didn't want it, my body didn't crave it.

    Also mind over matter works and all this postive talk and such can work but only when your mind is really working.( I agree it is so much more productive than neg. or getting down in the dumps but, I wonder if deep in your subconcious you are rebelling, as you write about lots of "the secret" type of things but they don't seem to be working. I am not saying this stuff doesn't work, but sometimes we just want to think what will work, and continue on that vein when we have to have an Awakening of sorts. I am not speaking negatively about the power of the secret, or positiveness as that is all over my page and I do very much belive Mind over matter.

    Speaking from recent experience, I lost 20 lbs doing well, eating great and then had a few cookies which led to more. I can not have cookies in the house. Which leads me to think that as you say at the beginning you can't have a cheat day as it leads to more. I am hoping that the longer that I eat clean, healthy and also think positively that I can do this as a lifestyle, I will no longer crave those cookies and if I do want something will choose more healthy options. I don't also think I will never ever have a cookie or chewy candy ( my other vice), but think that I may want to chose healthier versions of cookies ect. BUT for now even the healthier versions don't cut it, NO COOKIES for me NO SOFT CANDIES EITHER.

    As my friend said I am not ruled by cookies!!! and you are not ruled by alcohol and cheat days! You have said perviously, that you HAVE to have the cheat day, well as dr phil ( not my hero but seemed appropriate) says how is that working for you? You deserve to have all healthy days and not look at it as a cheat day perhaps, but to look at every day as a choice to eat and drink and live healthy...

    Let's both get back on the bandwagon, perhaps tweaking what we think and wish worked for us till it does give us the healthy lifestyle we both want and deserve.

    I do care, even if sometimes I ruffle your feathers. Perhaps we are more alike that we know, me with cookies you with alcohol. HUGS and have s great start to a totally healthy week.
    YOU and Your daugthers will both benefit !
    2207 days ago
    Knowing and doing are 2 different things. Like you said,
    focus on the end goal. You can do it!
    2207 days ago

    Awareness is the first step!
    2207 days ago
    This is a simply fascinating book about habits

    2207 days ago
    emoticon Knowing what you need to change is a big step. Getting there is hard. Think about your end goal and keep working towards it, one day at a time.
    2207 days ago
    keep motivated Helene, you'll lose those pounds you gained and more-trying changing up your routine!
    2207 days ago
    2207 days ago
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