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That dreaded question by a stranger T_T

Thursday, May 31, 2012

I was at McDonalds' - not to eat, but to teach a private lesson there - and was leaning against the counter slightly deciding to go with an ice coffee or zero coke (gasp) when the always friendly and bubbly register worker asked me:

'Baby??'

Yes, in English and in all sincerity. I quickly leaned back from the counter , patted my stomach and answered in Japanese 'No, I'm just fat' and she nods her head, pats her stomach and said 'Me too, look at this pouch'...

This would be unthinkable in my home country - I don't have a huge stomach. It was a little flab/skin pushed up as I was leaning against the counter to see the menu. All my real flab is on my butt.
Here asking personal questions is viewed as culturally acceptable by most so I often get asked my age, comments made on my weight and asked when I am going to have a baby (even by my young elementary school students).

I tried really hard not to let her comment bring me down - I know I don't have a huge belly. But it sure took me by surprise. I found myself sucking in my stomach for the rest of the day though.

I mentioned it to DH after we both got home after 9pm+. I shouldn't have - I was tired and men suck at saying the right things. He just went 'hmmm, belly fat is usually caused by alcohol. ' And proceeded to pour me a small glass of diet beer.
Some things are best kept to yourself and vented to a girl friend right! I wanted to hear a resounding 'No, you DON'T look pregnant' ;-)

P.S Do they do 'coffee taste testing' in your country? Since last month, about half way through my lesson a worker will come through with a tray of coffees asking of we'd like to to try one. HA - new blend my... foot. They probably have a new policy on how long coffee can stay in the coffee maker....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • FLASHJUSTFLASH
    I love that you were quick with such a matter-of-fact reply, and a bit puzzled as to why she thought seeing a bit of smooshed belly (sorry, rude way to say it - lol?) would strike her as being indicative of pregnancy. Don't know anyone who started showing that way. I remember being asked my age in Japan, as well as whether or not my hair color was my own. Luckily my daughter, who was teaching there, had prepped me for the personal questions ahead of time. It was at least a refreshing change from just knowing people were making snide/rude comments behind one's back. I wonder though, as their population begins to 'fatten up' like so many western countries whether or not that forthightness (is that a word) will help or hurt them.
    3192 days ago
  • STARTINGINLIMBO
    Ugh, how uncomfortable and frustrating -something that just goes round and round in your head after being asked by another adult. Of course you want to share it, and be assured you don't look pregnant. I hear you about the hubby not having the right words to say though. I told my husband that I gave myself a slight concussion and (dunno if you know how you feel when you have one, but you are easily annoyed when you have one) he said, "Guess you have irreversible brain damage now". HUH?!
    I'm glad you shared what you did. Good to get it out too, huh?!
    3193 days ago
  • SPARKGIRL32
    Awww I'm so sorry girlfriend :( Some people are seriously so rude ! :( Hang in there!
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    3193 days ago
  • MOSTMOM1
    Oh good grief! Hubs...bless his heart...
    Can we just say that culturally they expect all women to be pregnant? Would that work? Because, from all your pics, you sure as heck don't look it to me. At all. I'm shaking my head over here. You shake that off, look yourself in the mirror and say, "I should get paid for being this awesome."
    Hang in there, kiddo!
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    3193 days ago
  • HEALTHY4LIFE360
    The dreaded belly fat - we had a group shot taken at a staff bbq and I see mine in the pic and I know it's from too many non-AF days this past month... It's gotta stop ... I know you are not as big as I am - and to hear comments like that - as you say, you try not to let it get you down but it sure makes you feel bad.

    Chin up - keep doing what you're doing. Progress each and every day!
    3193 days ago
  • ANDI_3K
    I am sorry someone did that too you. You'll work it off in no time, I am sure!
    3194 days ago
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    3194 days ago
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