140ORBUST1983

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Week 6 and 7 Reflection

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

5/14/12-5/27/12
My Weight Loss Journey

Ok, so it’s been awhile since I blogged. For many reasons, mainly because I just haven’t had the time to devote to express how I feel. So much has gone on, and there are a lot of feelings that I have right now, a few of them not too healthy.

First let me start off with saying that I fell off of the wagon. I’ve actually sat down and thought about why I did, because it was bugging me a little bit. I want to make it clear that I am not trashing anyone or their eating habits. Neither am I saying anything bad about anyone. All I am going to say is the impression I received while reading some blogs and looking at some motivators on this site, I started to feel like I was depriving myself. For some reason, there are certain people who can eat whatever they want and still lose weight. For me, I was eating good food, but it wasn’t what I told myself I wanted. I looked at this people and saw that they messed up and still lost weight and I got frustrated and told myself that I could do that as well. Well, one thing that I learned from this is that everyone loses weight differently and everyone’s eating habits are different. I CANNOT COMPARE MYSELF TO EVERYONE ELSE!!!! I don’t know how many times I’ve put myself through this lesson, but I’m getting kind of tired of relearning this.

To be perfectly honest, and I know that I’ve said this before, but if it wasn’t for my group, the Pink Carnations, I would not have bounced back. It has become perfectly clear to me that in this journey, support is recommended, if not necessary to continue. I hate asking for help because I want to be so independent and I want to say that I did this all by myself…but then I realized that if I have a support system, not only will they pray for me during my struggles, they will also celebrate with me when I achieve my goals.

As I look back, I can actually look back and see where I started to stray…it was the end of week 3. I lasted three weeks in this journey without crashing and burning. I never really got up from there…I’ve kind of started getting to my feet, stumbled and fell again. With this being week 6 and 7’s reflection, I look and see how slow I am to get up. I think that sometimes the first fall is the hardest to get back up from. When I started this journey, I actually knew that I would fall, no matter how many times I told myself that I wasn’t going to. So, I prepared by writing a blog, my very first, about why I want to lose weight. As I read them now, I am starting to get excited again about this journey. Besides support, motivation is a key need in this journey. I’m so glad that I took the time to write all of this down at the beginning because I knew I would need it.

So, as of today at 11:40pm EST I am renewing my pact with myself to stay on track. I know this journey will be rough and that I will probably fall again. But I also know that after the first stumble that each time I fall it will be easier to get up. I’ve been noticing a quote that has been roaming around the sight, “It’s not how many times you fall, but the amount of times you get up.” It would be well for me if I can remember this!

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  • JOBIEDOBIE
    every moment you have the opportunity to turn around and go the right way ... you dont have to wait for tomorrow. i love you SO much and and inexpressibly excited about this journey of yours!! i have waited many years to watch you walk this very road.
    2996 days ago
  • JOBIEDOBIE
    every moment you have the opportunity to turn around and go the right way ... you dont have to wait for tomorrow. i love you SO much and and inexpressibly excited about this journey of yours!! i have waited many years to watch you walk this very road.
    2996 days ago
  • PUNKY100
    Yayyyyyy you're back!!! That was a much shorter break than the first time I fell off...I was gone from here for 4 years! :-P

    I'm so glad you've been through what you've been through. It was a learning experience and now it's time to pick up the pieces. I know exactly what you mean about comparing yourself to other people. I haven't admitted it in my own blog yet, but I get supremely jealous of other people who seem to be having more success than I do. We also have to realize that we won't lose every week. Hell I went backup again this week!!! It's like my body like to lose-gain-lose-gain-lose-gain...but I put up with it because once in a while, I'll lose more than I gain, and slowly but surely, it will get there...very slowly...

    Anywho, you know there are a ton of people here to help you, and if you ever need anything, all you have to do is ask!!! :-)

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    2996 days ago
  • SONIA260
    awwwwww ♥ soooooo glad that you wrote that first blog, you will keep getting up, every time...you will do this 140lbs or BUST! You got this girl!!!!!!!!
    2996 days ago
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