Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Geez. If anyone would have told me weight loss would have been so hard, I would have probably agreed. But by golly...it really has proven to be some kind of struggle. Not the losing weight, but the actually learning to have some integrity with myself.
So the last couple months have been a trip for a variety of reasons - work, training, life, etc. I've enjoyed what I've been up to, but have totally let my diet go. Fast and convenient has been my motto. So how has that been working for me? I gained nearly 30 lbs! What?! Yes...nearly 30 lbs. Holy cow... almost back to my start weight. That was depressing. What was even more depressing is how I say I'm up to living a life of 100% integrity in all areas yet I'm treating my body the way I do. Like how much do I hate myself? Really? I mean, if I have 100% integrity that means I am my word. If I say that I'm up to being one of great health, my diet sure didn't match up with that and I have been out of integrity. Without integrity, nothing works. The other day, I took on the possibility of being coachable and bold. All of a sudden I have this thought.. "oh crap!" as I realize that means ALL areas of my life. And certainly many avenues of action came to mind. Yeah... this would be fun and I'd now have to confront myself. Yeah... good times.
So...integrity restored and new promises made. Now what that looks like is I'm on an 8 day cleanse of sorts and as of morning 2 I've lost 8.4 lbs. I'm thinking that's pretty awesome. Is it a realistic way to keep going? No... absolutely not. It's a cleanse. But I think it's kind of an eye opener to how crappy I have been seeing myself. And is it water weight? No... been drinking over 100 oz water a day, so I'm not losing water weight. Just good ole fashioned "dude... you're fat!".
Anyhow... yeah, it's been a bit uncomfortable. I want to eat what I want to eat and not do what I don't want to do. But I know in the long run, this is worth it. I'm excited to restart my journey. :)