Not My Proudest Moment...
Sunday, May 27, 2012
I haven't written a blog in quite awhile but something happened the other day that I feel is blog worthy. You see, I found myself alone sitting on the couch with a spoon and a half gallon of ice cream. For some reason, unknown to me, I made the choice to have ice cream instead of a proper meal. As I sat stuffing ice cream in my mouth I suddenly realized my 16 year old son was coming down stairs. I immediately bolted for the kitchen to hide the evidence of what I was doing. Afterall I can't let my son see me eating ice cream as my meal. I would never allow him to do that and what kind of example was I being. Then it hit me, I'm a grown adult running to hide from my chid. I thought, THIS IS NOT NORMAL and felt so ashamed.
Okay now its time to admit it, I'm a closet eater. This is not my proudest moment.. . but admitting I have a problem is the first step in healing. So here I am admitting to myself and every Spark Member who reads this blog... "I Am A Closet Eater". Who am I kidding anyway. Someone once told me "what you eat in private, shows in public." I can't be in denial any longer. I didn't get to be 230 lbs. by eating egg whites, salads and grilled chicken.
This is actually very freeing. I will no longer eat in hiding. Hiding means I'm doing something wrong. If it can't be eating in front of others, then I shouldn't be eating it. No more Hostess Cupcakes in the car, or woofing down a Snickers bar before I get home from work. I only end up feeling guilty and ashamed. That's no way to live.
My son doesn't know he almost caught me doing something I feel so shameful about. It's not important whether he knows or not but the value of what I learned from that moment is truly priceless. It's another step forward in my journey to be healthier in mind and body.